Gain

August 30th, 2004

Li. Gain, profit, prosperity. The left side of the symbol for gain shows grain. The right side shows a knife. When the grain is harvested, wealth comes.

Some people might say it is hard to pursue Tao without the gain to support one’s endeavors. But it’s important to distinguish the exact types of gain that will actually bring us profit.

In the beginning, the ancients taught very simple and direct ways to live with Tao. But as time went on, people embellished the teachings until they became a very complicated body of knowledge. Tao became the pursuit of the rich and cultured. Only they could afford the herbs, the lessons, the expensive materials, the beautiful living locations, the servants, the travel, and the myriad other luxuries that afforded the freedom to pursue Tao. For many centuries, the simple and rustic ideals of the ancients were obscured by wealth, alchemy, artistic pursuits, and eccentricity.

We who want Tao may imagine that we will never succeed if the wealth and cultured living of the past are required. But that is not so. Do not be misled by the trappings of those who lived in the past. Look instead to what actually exists in your own life. As long as you live and breathe, as long as your heart beats and your mind dwells on the way, Tao can be found.

If we look at the image of grain, there is a lesson for us. Gain is simply the result of harvest. We don’t need a fancy lifestyle. We need know only where to look for grain and when to harvest it. Those who harvest the ordinary are thosee who ultimately gain.

Deng Ming Dao, Everyday Tao

________

Harvesting the ordinary. I just love that phrase. Where I live, I’m surrounded by the McMansions, the big SUVs, the people who think these are the symbols of success. I have friends who moved into the McMansions; some of them change so much they are no longer friends with me. Some seem to survive the wealth and become even more wonderful people anyway, but they tend to do a lot for the community and for other people.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to be wealthy, or with inheriting wealth. I think it’s more the attitudes some people have that they are entitled to it and others are not, or that others are poor because they are lazy or stupid. Most poor people I know are disabled in some way, uneducated, haven’t gotten very good breaks on life, or are just choosing to live a bit below their means. I drive cars that are several years old, yes, I drive a minivan because of the utility of it, but believe me, it gets well used. Yes, I’ve been a “soccer mom” and carted around a whole team and equipment. Now it hauls building supplies and things for making upgrades to our 1300 square foot home. No, we are not poor. We are blessed beyond belief. I could afford a bigger house and fancier car, but I don’t need them.
There was certainly a time when my kids were young and I stayed home with them that that wasn’t true.

I call my kids the “anti-consumers” because other than computer upgrades and video games, they don’t want anything else. My 18 year old just got his driver’s license and now has a car (2000 Corolla) so he can drive to college. He’s going to community college, mostly because of his high school grades but also to save money. He’s getting just as good an education without all the expense of a prestigious university (and he won’t be a C student, either). My younger son asked for Dance Dance Revolution for his birthday - that was the only thing he wanted. So now at least his games are keeping him fit, anyway.

I have the luxury of time, because my husband is now doing well enough we don’t really need two full incomes. So I do consulting work and pretty much work when I want to. Since my mom’s death I’ve taken a pretty extensive amount of time off, to be able to deal with various issues as they come up.

So am I wealthy? By the world’s standards, oh yes. By the standards of the people around here? Not really. But to myself, I know I have great wealth. And am very fortunate to have it. So now, it’s time to give back. To the community that has supported my family, to the people I now must care for, since my mom is gone, and to my kids, to get them them started in their lives and careers. And to anyone I meet or find out about that I can help.

And, I expect now, I will be wealthier than ever. With the real wealth of life - harvesting the ordinary.

Why I love my minivan

August 27th, 2004

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Diligence

August 27th, 2004

Qin. Diligence, labor. On the bottom of the symbol is the character for “strength” (showing a muscle in its sheath).

One cannot go far in this life without diligence.

It is useless to argue: this life is one of suffering.

Nothing can be done except through our efforts.

Disasters hit all of us without meaning or explanation. Wars are constant around the globe. Family members abuse and exploit one another. Hard work is often rewarded with betrayal. The government is a haven for those who would oppress others. Despite the great wealth of information, ignorance is ever present. Money is used for selfish gains and not to help others. Spiritual leaders are often shown to be hypocrites. Homelessness is rampant. Most people do not have enough to eat. Those who have enough eat more than their share. We spend our lives looking for love, only to find bitterness. We pin our hopes to distant dreams that never materialize. We listen to teachers who tell us to work hard, only to find that the world has changed by the time we leave school. We hurt ourselves with self-doubt, low self-esteem, and slavery to desires.

Prophets disappoint us, priests befuddle us, teachers deceive us, bosses exploit us, parents reject us, spouses desert us, children are taken from us, and at the end, it is just us, staring at the grave.

This life is one of suffering. Those who don’t know how to suffer are the worst off. Those who follow Tao know that there are times when things will be very difficult. That is the time to be diligent. There are times when the only correct thing we can do is to bear our troubles until a better day.

Deng Ming Dao, Everyday Tao

________

Well, that was depressing. I haven’t read the news yet today; I hope this isn’t a sign of troubles there.

I’ve been through my share of troubles lately. Personal depression, the death of my mother, dealing with her estate and my disabled sister and nephew, my niece’s death last week, my cat has a tumor and probably won’t last much longer. There are many troubles in life we all have to deal with. Having the strength to get through them is important.

Having someone to rely on has helped me get through troubled times. I guess that’s why a lot of people are religious, to rely on their god, which is really their own inner strength in disguise. For me, there were times I doubted my inner stregth and couldn’t find it. I was lucky to have someone beside mew to hold me up when I wasn’t strong enough by myself. I hope now I can be like that for others. Sometimes just that simple “We’re going to get through this” is all you can do, but it’s enough.

I guess that’s how I feel about things in this country right now. We’ll get through it, and I think people will find the strength to last through the coming darkness of the next few years. Yes, as bad as we think things may be, they are about to get much worse. Sorry, folks. The good news is that in surviving and rebuilding things again, they will get much, much better. We’re going to find new hope and strength in this country again. But it will be a difficult battle for the soul of this country, probably the worst since the Civil War. Read The Fourth Turning if you want to understand better what’s going on. An awesome book, and a great help to getting through the next few years, I think.

Me, I’m turning to Tao. I plan to find my strength in the natural world, living smaller and smarter, and helping others to stay healthy and strong. I hope to reconnect people to the life cycle, to looking beyond their own lives and caring for those around them, restrengthening community bonds and personal bonds. We will find our strength in each other to pull us all through. And I hope to be one of those big, strong, anchors to help people avoid being tossed by the strong tides that are coming. That is my hope, anyway.

What will you do? Please share your thoughts…

Others

August 26th, 2004

Ta. He, she, them, others, it.

We should not define ourselves by how others define us.

You call me by a name. You write to me at a certain address. When you check with the government, you find a history. You say I was born in a certain nation and therefore I must have a certain cultural understanding. You say that I have done business, that I am a citizen, that I am of a certain race, that I am of a certain gender, that I have a family. Therefore, you think these features are me.

You call youself by a name. You give out a certain address. When someone checks with the government, they find a history. You say you were born in a certain nation and therefore you have a certain cultural understanding. You say that you have done business, that you are a citizen, that you are of a certain race, that you are of a certain gender, that you have a family. Therefore, you think these features are yourself.

If you are with Tao, you will not make these mistakes.

Those who follow Tao may put out the appearance of a personality, for the convenience of other people and to be left alone, while inside they are constantly erasing all these things. They have glimpsed the source that is Tao, and they are aware of emptiness., and so they have no use for personal identities. To merge with Tao, that is their only objective.

Deng Ming Dao, Everyday Tao

________

I am so often astounded by people who must define themselves by where they live, what they wear, who is in their life or not in their life. I used to make the mistake of thinking that what others thought of me mattered so much that I allowed it to affect who I was, and ended up driving some people away by being too concerned about what they thought of me, or worse, by trying to hard to get them to be who I thought they were. Now, I know that what others think of me is not really all that important. Sure, I’ve made mistakes in my life, huge ones, but if there are people who cannot see past those mistakes and know and love me for who I am, that is their problem. If there are those who want to judge me based on what they think they know about me, that is their problem. Now I know it is best just to let others be themselves, even if the appearances they put out are not those of the person I expected or wanted them to be.

Within myself, I see less and less of such things. These days I notice how much like the flowers I am, or like my dog or my cat, or like the wind or the ocean, far more than I consider myself as being like other people. I’ve seeked to strive to “become” something or other before; now I feel I am becoming myself, and becoming more at one with the world than anything else. I give things away easily, I spend money where I need to or give it to others rather than worrying about “having” money, and, amazingly, there is enough for the things I and my family need, if not always for what we think we want or must have.

Actually, I rather like the person I am becoming.

So what are your goals? Are you trying to become some certain thing or type of person, or just being yourself and allowing yourself to be more a part of life, rather than a show for someone else?

Yourself

August 25th, 2004

Qi. Self, personal. The symbol for qi means “itself” and “inherent.”

Tao is inherent in itself.

No matter what happens in your life, believe in yourself. Don’t give that up for a god. Don’t give that up for a master. Don’t give that up for a parent. Don’t give that up for a spouse. Don’t give that up for a child. No matter what, believe in yourself.

Not one of these people can live life in your place. Not one of these people knows you like you know yourself.

No god knows you. No master knows you. No fortune-teller knows you. No one can know you if you don’t want to be known. Why? Because the future is not yet made. How can they know what you will do next?

Too many people let others dominate them. For what? For the good of the other only. If you let society dominate you, who wins? Society. If you let your parents dominate you, who benefits? Your parents. If you let a master dominate you, who is empowered? The master. If you let gods dominate you, who is enriched? The gods.

And where does that leave you?

The master says, “Study with me, or be relegated to ignorant sorrow.” The gods say, “Worship me, or I will punish you in this life and the lives to come.” Tell me, what good are associations built on dirty threats?

Tao does not threaten. Worship it and it will not be augmented. Ignore it and it will not be diminished. Follow it and you will be preserved. Oppose it and you will be destroyed. But if you choose to follow it, you will become independent.

That is liberation.

Deng Ming Dao, Everyday Tao

________

Its so rare to see people actually express their true individuality. Not in that “I want to be different, just like all my friends!” way, but in a way that actually expresses their unique personality and ideas. I find it confuses a lot of people when you do that. But, sometimes, that’s the whole point. If being yourself is somewhat confusing to others, its because they’ve probably never really given a lot of thought to who they really are. They’re just doing what everyone else tells them to do.

I’ve raised my kids to be themselves. Guess what. They are totally immune to peer pressure. They don’t always do what I would like them to either, but that’s the price I pay for letting them express their individuality. And everyone else ends up tellling me how mature and responsible they are. Well, they are because they know they are responsible for their own choices and mistakes; I’m not rescuing them. They get an occasional “saving throw” when they really screw things up, but I make sure those are expensive to them.

We pay a price for being individuals and expressing ourselves. Sometimes it’s been an expensive price for me, but on the whole, it’s worth it. But, everyone has to make their own choice. Most people end up choosing conformity over freedom, and complaining about it. I say, if you make that choice, don’t complain. At least it was your choice to make.

At the very least, take up art or a hobby of some sort and express yourself that way. Find an outlet that lets you be creative and explore who you are. And enjoy it. Don’t let people criticize your art; it’s just for you. The Artist’s Way is a great resource for this. Give it a try.

Rambo vs. the Real Hero

August 24th, 2004

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Sweep

August 23rd, 2004

Sao. To sweep. On the left of the symbol is the sign for “hand.” On the right is a phonetic, a picture of a hand holding a broom.

Sweeping is an act of humility, an act of service, and an act of meditation.

Sweep.
Do you want to know what to do with your life?
Sweep.
Do you want to know how to begin a new venture?
Sweep.
Do you want to clear away any misconceptions?
Sweep.
Do you want to know how to be thorough?
Sweep.
Do you want to create order?
Sweep.
Do you want an antidote to your excesses?
Sweep.
Do you lack for something to do?
Sweep.
Do you worry about the future?
Sweep.
Do you strive to be grounded?
Sweep.
Do you find it difficult to meditate?
Sweep.
Do you find it hard to finish what you start?
Sweep.
Do you need a skill in life?
Sweep.
Do you worry too much?
Sweep.

Deng Ming Dao, Everyday Tao

________

I started cleaning when I was angry about something. It helps give you something to do with the energy, and gives you an activity instead of venting at someone. It gives you time to think things through and lose the anger. Even when I don’t feel like cleaning anything else, I often sweep the floor. Just that little bit makes things feel so much cleaner to me, getting the bits of dirt out from under my feet and making things look that little bit better.

So go now! Sweep! Whatever space in your house you can sweep by hand! And see how you feel when you are done.

There. Just swept my kitchen floor. Of course, while I was doing that, I had to empty the trash and pick things up, and then the dishes might as well be done, and the counters cleaned, so now the kitchen is clean, I feel better and the house looks nicer. Ah.

So, how do you feel? Better, isn’t it? Now, I have to go change and clean me up for the day. That should feel good, too!

Friend

August 21st, 2004

You. friend. The symbol for friend shows two hands acting in the same direction.

We cannot be friends without trust.

Unless there is trust between friends, there can be no closeness. Once that trust is established, friends can unite to do things in common. Thus, the word for “friend” shows two people acting towards a single goal.

It is said that there are three levels of friendship. The first is the level of casual acquaintance. The second is where there is sharing. The third, considered most deep, is the level where we trust friends to criticize us. Ulterior motives at any one of these levels ruin a relationship quickly, and we cannot call such relationships true friendship. When we are with a true friend, we will know, because we can be open and trusting. Such openess is friendship.

Cynics hold that we should look out for ourselves first. This may be superficially good, but ultimately it will impoverish us. Unless we have friends with whom we can share good times and bad, we will never know selflessness. And not to know the selfless trust of friendship is to miss an opportunity to understand our own best qualities.

Deng Ming Dao, Everyday Tao

________

Wow. Friendship is such a deep topic for me. It’s really difficult to put all my thoughts about it into words, and would take a long time. Friendships are so important to me, and yet, I have only a very few close, really trusted friends. I have lost three good friends, mostly my own fault because I had an untreated illness I needed to take care of. But those scarring experiences have made me probably too cautious in who I will actually trust now.

One of those friends, who I thought was a deep trusted friend, has many casual acquaintances. I now believe that she mistakes these for deep friendships, but when she really needed a true friend, it was me she trusted, and I never violated that trust. But when I had a deep personal issue, she did violate my trust of her, and that ended our friendship. It also destroyed me. Over the next year, I very slowly went completely crazy, thinking there was no one I could trust anymore. Luckily, I have a very loving husband who is also my very best friend, and he stuck with me and got me through it. I am a lot stronger person now, far happier, and much better able to handle all aspects of my life.

But friendship, well, it is still hard for me. I now have lots of level one and two friends, but those level three deep trusting friendships are still pretty rare.

The other two friendships were male friends I got too close to - not a good situation when one is married. I mistook what I felt for them for something deeper, in my illness. I think this particular illness really affects the feeling areas of the brain and deepens all feelings. The friends I know who share this illness experience life on a completely different level from most people. They laugh louder, cry more often and more deeply, care too much about other people, and in general are just an emotional mess if untreated. But the depth of those emotional experiences leads many to not consider or even discontinue their treatment. It’s a difficult situation.

And when a friend is in the crosshairs of those intense emotions, all bets are off. You just don’t know what will happen. So I fully understand why people didn’t want to be around me like that. It just really, really hurt, considering how intense those feelings were. And, of course, the hurt was also incredibly intense.

Now, being medicated properly and maintaining a very even keel in my life, I look back and am actually somewhat sad for those people, that they had so little faith and trust in me as a person not to stick by me. But, I can’t expect everyone to be there for me. Now, I just try my best to be there for other people, and that seems to work better. I let people be in my life when they want, and don’t care too much when their lives veer off from mine. I have always been pretty happy alone, except of course for when I actually was most alone, and use my time to think, meditate, write, or work on some of my many projects. And, of course, play on the computer.

The funny thing is, I still love those people dearly, even though they never speak to me. And I guess, being who I am, I always will. It’s just now, it’s their loss, and not mine, that they choose to be apart. They have lost the friendship - but I still have it, in my heart. So now, I understand that I have truly never lost a friend, though some have lost me. And perhaps, knowing that I am a person who will never walk away from a friend makes me a better one.

What are your experiences of friendship? Are there people in your life who you can truly trust with anything? That you will let criticize you, and who are not afraid of your criticism? Hang on to those people - they are golden.

Happy Birthday Gregory!

August 19th, 2004

Yeah! My youngest turns fifteen today. He’ll probably sleep all day…

Young

August 19th, 2004

Shao. Young, few. The young need guidance to attain wholeness.

Life is a daily process of compromise, murky meanings, and ambiguity. What is correct one day can be wrong the next. What seems good can all too easily become bad. For the old, many years of disappointment often produce a bitterness hard to dispel. It is not right to pass this feeling on to the young.

The ancients themselves had attained Tao and no longer acted according to fixed rules. With their decades of experience, they could act with subtlety and grace in the midst of life’s contradictions. But they knew that the young could not act in this way. The ancients therefore gave the young clear rules of conduct that would last until a young person could understand the contradictions of life.

The young are pure, innocent, tender. The young need guidance. Simple and clear answers are necessary. Later, when the young have walked their Tao long in the world, they will transcend all rules.

Sometimes I feel like it’s impossible to truly understand life if you haven’t raised kids. To see the innocence of young children, and yet the mischief they can get into, is just amazing. Even knowing the rules they will test them to their limits. I had to become stricter at times than I could ever have imagined, in my case always about matters of personal safety. The kids could misbehave sometimes in other ways, but never if it compromised their safety.

We give kids rules to keep them safe. Society’s rules for adults are really basically the same, to ensure your safety and that of others. That’s why it makes so little sense to break most rules. But sometimes, you have to make exceptions, even to what seem the strongest of rules.

Some people will simply nevr understand and accept this. They think if you’ve bent the rules, you can’t be trusted, without understanding what the circumstances were. That’s why we have trials, so every case can be judged individually. You can’t know another’s viewpoint and reasons until you’ve looked closely at what happened.

The best way I’ve found to treat people is as if they are children. Explain your rules simply, and if they are violated, ask why. There may be a good reason for someone to violate your space or rules. So don’t judge your transgressors too harshly. You might lose a valuable friend or ally. And if you have to bend a rule yourself, don’t judge yourself too harshly, either. Look at your reasons, and if they were good ones, ease up on yourself. If not, learn the lesson you need to and move on.

And like with kids, big hugs all around when the tears and apologies are over. And maybe ice cream.

Spa Day

August 18th, 2004

Ah. That’s so much better….

If you live in SoCal, go here. You’ll like it really.

Withered

August 18th, 2004

Ku. Withered, dried, decayed.On the left of the symbol for ku is a picture of a tree, here representing wood in general. On the right is a phonetic, the word for “ancient.” That which is old is stiff. That which is young is soft.

That which is old grows stiff and then decays. That which is young is pliant and soft. Therefore, those who follow Tao follow the way of softness in order to avoid death.

There are many ways to apply this ideal. You could interpret it literally and so try to maintain whatever limberness you have. Or you might understand it to mean that to harden your position toward others inevitably leads to your downfall: the dogmatic — the stiff — are often the first to be undermined.

The tree in the word ku gives us a hint of how to proceed. A tree, on the inside, is hard but flexible. Without the bone of its interior, the tree could not stand. But neither is it so stiff that it has no life: on the outer layer, the tree is soft, and there it channels life.

The tree is often used as a metaphor for meditation. It is still, but inside, there is great movement. So too must we understand how to combine hardness and softness. If we do, then we can avoid the withered state.

__________

Well, I’m off to the spa today to try and keep some things soft (like my skin!). I’m taking my sister-in-law with me to give her a treat on her day off. Should be fun. So what are you doing to stay soft and supple?

I had to learn several times to stop being so hard and dogmatic in my positions. I think I’m pretty open to new ideas, and I try never to believe I know the best way to do things. There’s always more to learn from other people. Sometimes I will rest a bit, like trees in winter, and kind of withdraw into myself, but usuually I return to growing and there is a flourish of new learning and life. I take yoga and pilates to try and maintain my body, both its hard (strength) and soft (flexible) qualities, and read a lot to try and strengthen and stretch my mind. I’m off to the spa — stay soft!

Belly

August 16th, 2004

Du. Belly, abdomen. On the left of the symbol is the character for “flesh.” On the right is the phonetic meaning “earth. The belly, our base and center.

How many people think of their bellies? How many people are aware of what goes on down there?

Why think that spirituality is a matter of the head? Why think that abstract and academic speculations of philosophers will give you answers?

Our bellies are where we were connected to our mothers.
The bellies of women can give life.
Without the belly, you could not digest food — you’d be capable of precious little philosophy on an empty stomach.
Without the belly, you could not sit up straight.
Without the belly, you could neither twist nor turn.

Why do we ignore the belly? When we are under stress or disappointed, it is often in our bellies that we feel pain. When we are consumed with laughter, we laugh until our bellies hurt. When we are threatened, we instinctively protect our bellies.

Just as the word du combines the body and the earth, so too is the belly the true foundation of our efforts.


__________

How often do you trust your “gut feel”? Just for today, try going with your instincts and see what the results are. Listen to your belly to know when you are really hungry instead of just eating out of habit or boredom. Do some exercise to stregthen your belly and see if it doesn’t help you stand up straighter and feel better. See if your back doesn’t feel better as your belly becomes stronger. Oh, and thank your mother for all those months carrying you around!

Offering

August 15th, 2004

Offering, sacrifice, worship. On the left side of the symbol is the sign meaning a revelation from heaven. On the right side is the phonetic representing abundance by depicting many plants with beans.
If you would want a revelation from heaven, you must first make an offering.

The first act of devotion is offering.

We are each on a spiritual path, and we each hope to gain the abundance of that path. But how can we gain spiritual gifts unless we are receptive? After all, nothing spiritual can occur if we are occupied with self-regard. Therefore, worship needs an act that will signify a willingness to put aside self-centered occupations in favor of receptiveness to the divine. That is why all worship involves offering.

Devotion is a commitment. Through our daily acts of devotion, we demonstrate our determination to live a holy life. We cannot predict the time of our death, but we know we will die. That makes the time between the present and our death all the more important. Although that time will pass whether or not we do something valuable, it is far better to lead a positive life. That is why we need offering; it signifies the committment to lifelong devotion.

Ackowledgement becomes an act of humility and a very real understanding that what comes to us is not simply a result of our work, but a gift from Tao. Certainly, we cannot live without work, but equally, work alone will not sustain us. We live by the good fortune of what heaven and earth provide. We make our offering to show our gratitude.

Offering shows that we are receptive.
Offering shows that we are devoted.
Offering shows acknowledgement.

_______

Offering. An appropriate topic for a Sunday. I suppose what I think of as an offering is a bit different from a lot of people. Most think of it as money given at church. I think offerings can be made in alot of different ways. An unexpected kiness. Letting someone into traffic. Last night I met a woman who had been refused a refund on some batteries she bought from a store and I gave her the money the store had refused to give her. So there are many ways to make an offering. I garden organically and have vastly improved the soil around my house, introducing worms and getting rid of toxic chemicals in the water system. That is an offering. I put out heealthy seed for the birds and grow sunflowers. That is an offering.

What kind of offerings do you make? Are you taking more than you need? Do you have some things you could spare? Why not offer them to others? Is there someone you need to thank for your success? A friend who needs your call or visit? An animal that needs to be adopted?

Make an offering. Today and every day.

Vomit

August 14th, 2004

Tu. To vomit, to spit. The word for “mouth” is on the left side of the symbol for vomit, the word for “earth” is on the right and is a phonetic. One spits or vomits upon the earth. There is a wise immediacy to vomiting.

As uncomfortable as vomiting is, it can be very instructive. Usually some indiscertion or illness brings us to the point of throwing up, and if we have to throw up, we might as well learn something from it.

There is a certain genius in the quickness of vomiting. Somehow, a body knows when it has to get rid of something offensive. Once it has decided, there is no holding back. Regardless of whether it is socially acceptable, or smart, or a good time for it to happen, the vomit will come. It doesn’t matter if we use all our might and all our concentration to try to stop it.

In the throes of whatever brings on such nausea, all others concerns are blocked. It doesn’t matter what work you have or where you are. Maybe you don’t even hear what someone is saying to you. This is akin to perfect concentration.

And when vomiting happens, it happens mightliy. It is forceful and complete. Retching can be so powerful, it will leave your abdomen sore for days. Again, perfect concentration. Perfecr action, with nothing left undone. Ahh - don’t we feel better?

It’s astounding how many years we will put up with bad relationships and horrible jobs and stupid social obligations, all because we think we must. It’s amazing how we smoke and drink and eat bad food and stay out too long in the sun, even though we know it’s bad; we do it over and over again anyway. Isn’t it because we don’t let our innate genius take over? If we did, we would not tolerate what is bad for us even for a second. We should take this as a challenge. If we know bad things have come into our lives, we should forcefully expel them as quickly as possible. Without a doubt, we will feel much relieved.

________

Dubya and his administration make me want to vomit. Perhaps this country can get smart enough to vomit him out this fall.

Laughter

August 13th, 2004

Xiao. Laughter. The symbol is the word for “bamboo” above the word for “dog”. Just as wind shakes the leaves of the bamboo, so too do we shake in reaction to the world.

Some ascetics do not believe in laughter. They believe laughing is a sin. Tao, hoever, excludes nothing, including laughter.

It is very important on understanding Tao that we perceive the transient nature of life. Everything is in a state of constant change. Therefore, we can never be complacent. We can never expect places, things, or people to remain static. If we understand that, then we have the opportunity to learn more of Tao. If we do not accept that, then madness quickly overtakes us.

The ancients understood the ephemeral and advised their students not to take life too seriously. Life changes too quickly for us to dwell overly long on any single aspect. Things may go one way for a while, only to change quickly and unpredictably. Therefore, the wise realize that there is nothing to be gained by regarding life as immutable. It is far better to accept and work with its ephemeral quality. Then, no matter how difficult things are, we can laugh.

As nothing is permanent, there is nothing to take seriously. As there is nothing to take seriously, we should laugh at the world. As we laugh at the world, we should realize that understanding the changeable nature of life is the swiftest way to joy.

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Laughter is truly the best medicine. In taking care of your health, it’s important to relax and enjoy life as much as possible. Drink some green tea in the morning instead of that coffee, and see if your spirits don’t lighten up. Practice meditation and yoga. Make time for yourself, and plan special outings that you look forward to and enjoy. It doesn’t have to be fancy - a trip to the fabric store to admire different fabrics. A walk in your neighborhood, taking care to smile and greet your neighbors. A visit to a garden center to admire the flowers in bloom.

Take time for laughter - the laughter of nature, the laughter of your own spirit, the laughter of your friends and family. Not sarcastic or cynical laughter, but real, honest, friendly healthy laughter. Namaste.

Flowers

August 11th, 2004

Hua. Flower Flowers are a token of life.

For all the important moments in our life, we can hardly do without flowers. When we marry, when we die, when we are honored, when we honor others, when we console each other, we have flowers with us. When someone is ill in the hospital, we bring flowers. Isn’t it because we have some sense that flowers can bring cheer and encourage life?

Flowers are beautiful. They are fragrant. They are the first burst of laughter on the plum tree at winter’s end. They are the pure and seductive magnificence of the peony, opening in layer after layer of exquisiteness. They are the velvety loveliness of the rose, which protects itself with sharp thorns. They are the upright character of the chrysanthemum, which blooms even as winter approaches.

A flower. The dandy twirls one in his hand, the ascetic enters into stillness while gazing at the center of one, the gardener cultivates it with love and care, the painter will lavish years in painting it, the poet will strain to describe it. Flower. So delicate. So easy to crush. So short a life.

Flowers are ephemeral. They represent life’s cycles. By having them as part of our worship, we offer a part of life itself.

Deng Ming-Dao, Everyday Tao

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Flowers are a very important part of my life. As a gardener lucky enough to live in San Diego, I try to always have something in bloom. I’m fortunate that whatever the time of year, I can usually look around the garden and find a flower. When there are few, I find my spirits are lower, and a trip to the nursery often ensues, just to see if there is anything in bloom.

Outside my window right now, the delicate flowers of a basil plant are in bloom, with a small bee sipping their nectar. I can see the blue flowers of a chaste tree in bloom. I can turn to my kitchen, and see the calendar with sunflowers on it, and the pictures of sunflowers and poppies I have painted. I see the painting I did with the lotus blossoms and other small flowers. I see the silk sunflowers over my kitchen cabinets.

I still have a small frame with a picture of the first rose my husband gave to me. My wedding flowers where a mix with roses, which became a slight problem when I learned my sister in law was allergic to her bridesmaid’s bouquet! I remember picking out the flowers for my mother’s funeral. All the designs looked the same to me and I was so depressed anyway that nothing was special. Then I turned to the page with the tropical display. I remembered my mother’s love of Hawaii and the choice became suddenly easy and joyful.

I have a friend going through tough times, and took her a plate that was my mother’s with the peace rose design on it, becaue my friend was the one who convince dme that I could grow roses in my garden. She broke down and cried.

Do you have special stories about flowers in your life? Do you have anyone in your life who could use some flowers now?

My flowering plum is indeed one of the first things to break from winter’s sleep. Along with some daffodils and a few other flowers, they break winter’s spell. Alas, it is too warm here for peonies. Roses I have in abundance, and I love them. And the mums, which bloom in late spring and then again in the fall.

My favorite flower? I really couldn’t choose just one. Perhaps freesias, for their lovely scent of spring at the end of winter. Or roses, for their deep, rich, fragrance. Or lilies, for their stunning beauty and fragrance. My favorite perfume scents are pikake, lily, and jasmine. I love the scent of jasmine bringing in summer. I love the dayliliy, that lives only a day and that reminds us life is precious. What is your favorite flower, and what does it mean to you? Have you sent someone their favorite flowers lately?

Take time and admire and appreciate the flowers in your life, and watch your life become richer. Namaste.

Verify

August 10th, 2004

Shi. To verify, to test. Verify what you learn.

Life is very short. We all want to live it well. We study spiritual systems in search of techniques and traditions to help us live our lives better.

While there is no shortage of people purporting to be sages, there is certainly ongoing confusion about which system to follow. Why? After you subtract all the false masters interested only in their own veneration and support; after you subtract all the religions paralyzed by dogma, ritual, and politics; after you subtract the systems where secrets are not readily shared; after you subtract the traditions ruined by supposed reform; and after you subtract the teachings subverted by people who never learned how to put theory into action - after you subtract all these things, there is very little left. To find the kernels of truth is hard indeed.

That is why you must look beyond mere fame. Do the teachings work or not? If the masters say practice this and the gods will appear before you in a hundred days, see if it happens. If they tell you to practice ten years to achieve enlightenment, then wait the ten years. The point is, however, that the teachings must work for you in your life and in your time. It is absolutely worthless to accept a teaching on mere faith, or because a book says to, or becuase everyone is doing it. None of that matters. All that matters is that the teachings work for you. And if they do, then faith is never a difficult matter.

Deng Ming-Dao, Everyday Tao

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Does it work, or not? More important, does it work for you? I wonder how many people actually ask this about their belief system.

But I would add even more. Even if something does work for you, if it brings harm to others, it harms you. If it does not help others, it does not help you. This is a hard thing for a lot of people to understand. They think because they are getting richer, or having more, that makes things better for them, even if others are hurt by not having enough and they could help.

But material wealth is not worth the price of spiritual poverty. I often say these kinds of people are hurt simply by being the kind of people they are. It doesn’t seem like it; it seems those who have a lot would be really happy. And sometimes they are. For a while. But then they need the next fix, the next high, and they grow dissatisfied and want even more.

This is not a path to peace. True peace and fulfillment only comes from lightening the attachment to material wealth and using what you need, giving what you can of your skills and talents to others without thought of material gain. Does this mean you shouldn’t ask for money in return? Of course not - you have needs that must be met. And often others must pay something to feel they have gained something of value from you, or that they have benefited you in return for the benefits you have given them. The key is knowing what are your needs and what are just material things you have been led to believe you need.

If you want wealth, fine. Just don’t expect that it will satisfy you. If you want to be satisfied and fulfilled, learn what you need, and what is just the manipulation of your desire to get you to buy things that will add nothing of real value to your life, instead of products and services that will serve you well.

What things do you really need? One of my favorite things lately is a small magnet we got while in San Francisco with one of the rules from Alcatraz prison. It reads:

“Regulation #5
You are entitled to food, clothing, shelter and medical attention. Anything else you get is a privilege.”

Now. Don’t you live a privileged life? And wouldn’t that be a great motto for our nation to live by? Well, perhaps I would add education to that list then. What would you add?

Return

August 9th, 2004

Fan. To return, to turn back, to turn over, to rebel, polarity, opposites. The symbol is two hands held opposite one another.

One needs to understand cycles to understand Tao.

Days and nights, summers and winters.
Waves curling up, consumed by new waves.
The ongoing march of generations,
The vapor of water congealing into clouds -
Tao is cyclical, not linear.

The multitude of things are innumerable,
But they travel circularly.
Those who accord with Tao
Understand rise and fall
And gain clarity and insight.
Those who do not accept rise and fall,
Ride recklessly with misfortune.

Thus it is said: the secret of Tao lies in returning.

Deng Ming-Dao, Everyday Dao

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Two hands help opposite one another. In the right hand, the old order of things, those who would hold to the past and not understand that the cycle must turn. In the left hand, those who know the cycle will turn, and want to direct that turning towards the next cycle rather than allow the descent into chaos that results from trying too hard to cling to the old ways.

America is at its fourth turning, the place and time where we must return again to the first turning, a place in the cycle following upheaval, change, and the creation of a new order. Those on the right do not understand that the existing order cannot hold, a new one must be created that fits with its place and time.

We can close off to the world, become its enemy, or we can open up and embrace the world. We can reward the wealthy and create an entire generation of poor, impoverished, hostile workers, or we can care for all people and provide them health and a good standard of living. We can try and foist empire on the world, whidh will fail and fall and perhaps take down the entire world economy, or we can work with other nations to control terrorism, help to heal the deep wounds between nations and religions, allow all to join in the prosperity of this age, and share our great wealth and wisdom to provide health and aid to those who need it. We can give up America to our Chinese and Japanese financiers, or we can restore our economy to vibrancy and health by cutting our reckless defense spending and building smarter, leaner, better military systems for protection and not domination.

These choices are ours to make. They are not for those with money and power to make, however they may try to manipulate us or rig our voting systems. We can go to the polls and make sure votes are counted. We can talk with our friends and neighbors and make sure they are not victims of manipulation and deceit. We can demand honesty from our press. We can demand clean, monitored elections. We can let our representatives know we will not support them if they cater to special interest, especially when they deny that they do so and then hold multi-million dollar fund raisers with their “friends”.

Let’s return to a strong America, but one that works with the world. Stregth is not just military might and domination. It is the ability for subtle negotiation with opposing interests, and intelligent handling of sensitive issues. A strong person fights only when absolutely neccessary, not because they can. A strong nation is respected, not feared or loathed. A strong nation cares for all its people, not only those with power and wealth.

The wheel turns, as it must, but we can choose the direction we are traveling. Are you spinning your wheels, or going somewhere?

Interval

August 8th, 2004

Jian. Interval, space, partition. No matter where you are in life, you still have an interval of time to use wisely.

“When I die, I will rot in the ground like anyone else.” There. If you say that, no priest or minister has any power over you.

So many religious leaders simply want converts. They want to build grand temples. They want obedience. They want glory. And to get that, they promise you great rewards and a guaranteed place in heaven. But we don’t want that.

We want insight into this life. We want freedom to walk our way.

Therefore, we must all seek a clear, free, open path with no encumbrances. We all accept that we will die, but that means we still have to make decisions for the interval until then. We don’t know how long, but that doesn’t matter. The fact is, we have time, long or short. What are we going to do with that? That is the most valuable wealth we have. What will you do?

Time is made up of many intervals strung together.

Deng Ming-Dao, Everyday Tao
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I think about time a lot lately. When I have a few minutes of time available, with no interruptions, I like to meditate or read. When I am stressed by others demands on my time, I try to remember that soon enough, today or tomorrow, I will have my own time again to do with as I choose. It helps to believe there is enough time for everything, rather than get into the trap of “I don’t have enough time.” It slows you down, lets you really listen to people and be able to focus on their needs for a few moments rather than just your own.

I try to keep a book or a sketchpad in my care for those moments when I’m waiting for someone and they are late, so it never really bothers me too much when others are late. For myself, I try to be on time when I have appointments, because I want others to know their time is as valuable as my own, and if I have made a commitment to use their time, I try my best to honor it.

I used to get x’s instead of checkmarks in school (do you remember those?) for “Uses Time Wisely” because teachers would think I wasn’t listening to them when I was daydreaming or writing. It’s interesting that I still managed to ace their tests and assignments. Hey, the last minute is there for a reason.

I love the way my golden retriever Chance uses his time. His typically attitude is “The sun, is shining, it’s a beautiful day, and I have plenty of food. Let’s play”. Unless, of course, there is more food to be had. Then he is very attentive. My cats are even better. For them it’s “Take over the world, or nap?” Typical of cats, they will choose to nap.

Heck, offer me chocolate, and I’ll make my time available for you. I’m easy. Dark, of course, the darker the better. And with raspberry… well, you’ve got my attention and all the time you want!

How do you use your time here in this world? Or you chasing after your dreams, or the ones you think you should have? Do you make time for yourself? For those you love? For friends? For meditation?

Time is all we have… and there will always be enough. There is all of your life - however long it is, and however you choose to use the intervals.