Changing Places

That’s what growing up in Arizona in the 60s was all about!

I think this is a picture of my shell, which is feeling cut open….

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” — Kahlil Gibran

“Perhaps middle-age is, or should be, a period of shedding shells; the shell of ambition, the shell of material accumulations and possessions, the shell of the ego” — Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“”maggie and millie and molly and may”

maggie and millie and molly and may
went down to the beach (to play one day)
and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn’t remember her troubles,and

millie befriended a stranded star
who’s rays five languid fingers were;
and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.
For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
it’s always ourselves we find in the sea.”

— E. E. Cummings

My art was so distressing this morning I tossed it. Yeah, It’s that kind of day. So thought I would post some pics from my garden instead. Living in SoCal is a blessing in January….

Sexy, no?

Roses in January… indeed, a blessing…

Primroses are a favorite of mine this time of year…

This princess flower is in its 10th month of continuous bloom. It may make it to 12 months if it doesn’t get too cold.

I’m feeling very inadequate from my Japanese class tonight. I really am struggling with it. I’ve learned other languages before, but they were all Romance languages and so at least close to English. This is different. The language, the hirigana, the katakana, the differences in sentence structure, it all just throws me off, plus the class style of being put on the spot to say a phrase or whatever.

Ah well, I suppose it will get easier as I go. But tonight, I’m tired and dragging and feeling stupid about it all.

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer. ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.” — Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today would have been my mom’s 78th birthday. No wonder I’m feeling teary eyed today. She passed away two years ago. Took me all day to not think of that…

From Marianne Hieb’s “Inner Journeying through Art Journaling“:

There are times when you can rest in the concreteness of the product aspect of your spiritual life. Images and solid places that are describable bring a momentary relief in the vast desert of that which is ony barely perceivable.

The word product comes from the Latin derivative ducere – to lead. A way of thinking about product (pro ducure) is to consider that it leads you forward along the edges of grace to revelation. Living with this product can lead forward. Once you do art-journaling, the image remains. Tomorrow, your art-journaling may say more to you than it did today. Sometimes you need to be patient and wait for the parable to evolve.

I guess I have to wait and see what my mountains and lake mean. ;^)

It isn’t ever the same. In time, I’ll change, and you, and the currents of our lives. But the image of this moment will never fade. This moment, and you, are unforgetable.

“To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

“We know now that the soul is the body, and the body the soul. They tell us they are different because they want to persuade us that we can keep our souls if we let them make slaves of our bodies.” — George Bernard Shaw

“You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul” — George Bernard Shaw

“There is nothing fiercer than a failed artist. The energy remains, but, having no outlet, it implodes in a great black fart of rage which smokes up all the inner windows of the soul.” — Erica Jong

(I love that quote! I once knew someone who “wanted to have written” who totally reminded me of this! He also told me he didn’t believe he had a soul…)

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life”
– Jean Shinoda Bolen

“Creativity is essentially a lonely art. An even lonelier struggle. To some a blessing. To others a curse. It is in reality the ability to reach inside yourself and drag forth from your very soul an idea.” — Lou Dorfsman

“The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.”
– Pablo Picasso

“Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one.” –Stella Adler

“Art should be something that liberates your soul, provokes the imagination and encourages people to go further.” — Keith Haring

This image is a page from my very first art journal, kept back when I was in high school in the 70s. I didn’t think of it as art journaling then; it was just a place I drew pictures and wrote things. Hard to believe there are entire books now about art journaling, when it was something I did so naturally.

I’ve always been a very visual person. Images are important to me, sometimes too important. I have images of people from high school years still very clear in my mind. I’ll be attending my 30th high school reunion this year, so it’s been a long time ago. But those years still seem like a time when I was most in touch with myself, and I think like many people, my real image of myself is tied to that period of late childhood and early adulthood. I smile a lot in recognition as I visit other web pages these days, seeing places I have been in the lives of others. I read a lot of older blogger’s pages, to get a sense of where I am headed.

So blogging really comes pretty naturally to me. I like being able to share my thoughts, and mostly I like being able to write and share my images. If others read, great, if they don’t, it doesn’t bother me very much. If people comment, that’s fine, and if they don’t that’s fine as well.

If you went back to the earliest pages of this blog, you would find some writing from when I went through my own period of recovery, after an episode caused by bipolar disorder. I suppose I’ve been bipolar most of my life, never to the extent I was during that episode, however. My life felt shattered and I came unglued, and had to rebuild a sense of myself from the ground floor again. Well, all that is under control thanks to some great medication I managed to talk my shrink into trying, and I live what is a pretty normal life. I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a sister and nephew who are entirely disabled by this disease. My sister lives in a supervised housing situation, my nephew refuse to be supervised so his life is a chaotic mess. I also have a brother who is thankfully unaffected by any of this.

So why am I so open about this? Because it is part of who I am, part of my history, part of my art and my creativity. So yes, there are artists who are “crazy”. No, artists don’t have to be crazy, but hey, some of us are, or have been. And I do sort of resent Cameron’s point noting that artists don’t have to be crazy. She doesn’t seem to realize that for those who have really been there, that’s a bit of a slur.

Anyway, for me, Chapter 2 is a bit redundant. I’ve had my recovery, thank you very much. Lost my soul and got it back again, cracked the mirror and pieced it back together, and every other metaphor you could think of. I don’t recommend it, but then, it isn’t something to be afraid of either. I think these days I’m a lot more sane than most people will ever dream of being.

I keep coming up with this image of mountains and lakes… feel like I’m in Close Encounters or something where they keep drawing the mountain over and over….

So, what is my mind trying to tell me, hmm?

Raph Koster’s Home Page

Now let me explain a little bit of what I mean there. Imagine that you were a painter, and you had access to every single kind of brush, every single sort of paint, every sort of pencil, charcoal, chalk, gouache, whatever… imagine that you had an infinitely sized canvas, larger than the universe. It would be awfully hard for you to arrive at what composition to place on the canvas. It would be difficult for you to think about what tools you should use in order to create that composition.

Creativity is enhanced by limitations. Creativity, innovation, is largely about finding solutions within a known problem space.

One of those days when I all I could do was play with clay – yay!

BTW, these are clearance priced $1-3 vases from Target – a cheap evening’s entertainment when combined with some Premo clay …

Don’t ever think it’s too late to pursue your dreams as an artist (or anything else!)

The Post and Courier | Charleston.net | News | Charleston, SC

“The Flowering Amazon: Margaret Mee Paintings From the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew”

Margaret Mee (British, 1909-88), considered the premier female explorer of the Amazon rainforest, first began her Amazonian journeys in 1956 at age 47 and completed 15 expeditions over the course of three decades.

“As a supremely gifted artist, dedicated botanist and intrepid explorer, Mee observed and painted native plants in their natural habitat and discovered several previously unknown species that now bear her name,” says Ruth Stiff, curator of exhibitions at the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew. “Her exquisite paintings of orchids, bromeliads and other Amazonian plants have been widely praised for both their striking artistic beauty and their scientific clarity. Her work combines meticulous observation and detailed scientific accuracy with elegant composition and confident rendering of plant structure.

“Paddling long distances in small, dugout canoes with a single native guide, Mee would often live for weeks with the Tucano people, sharing their food and garnering information about the trees and plants she encountered on her journeys. Scientifically, no equivalent record of Amazonian plants has ever been created. Mee’s remarkable watercolors include the only record of certain plants, many of which may now be extinct.”

On loan from The Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew, this exhibition features 30 spectacular watercolor drawings and showcases field sketches, diaries and native Brazilian artifacts from Mee’s Amazonian expeditions, as well as specimens from the Kew Herbarium. The exhibit begins this Friday in the Garden and Balcony Galleries of the Gibbes Museum of Art and runs through April 2. The exhibit can be viewed during normal gallery hours of 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday and 1-5 p.m. Sunday. Admission is adults $9; seniors, students and military $8; children (6-12) $6; and children under 6 are free. For more information, call 722-2706 or visit www.gibbesmuseum.org.

Interview with Margaret Mee here.

Dawn Gaskill, Abundance
Dawn Designs

Sun in heaven.
Abundance in great measure.
Supreme success
In the midst of impermanence.

The midday sun in summer is the hottest and brightest of all. It symbolizes a zenith, a fulfillment, a period of great brightness. In the affairs of people, it stands for the combining of strength and clarity, which yields brilliance. When the times are in accord, abundance cannot be opposed.

The period of abundance is a time for vigorous action. Bright light shines not only on the good but on the bad as well. Therefore, when evil is revealed, all good people must oppose it. Pluck in out by the roots and energetically promote the good.

Abundance is a cause for celebration, but followers of Tao also remember to be cautious. No zenith can be preserved forever. In fact, the time of abundance just precedes an inevitable path of decline. Nothing in life is permanent. Therefore, the wise person enjoys and is gladdened by abundance. But while they take advantage of the time, they also prepare for what will follow.

Deng Ming Tao, 365 Tao

The more you learn what to do with yourself,
and the more you do for others,
the more you will enjoy the abundant life.
— William J.H Boetcker

Happiness is not simply having material needs met. Thus, society has set up a system of rewards that go beyond material goods. These include titles, social recognition, status, and political power, all wrapped up in a package called self-fulfillment. Attracted by these prizes and goaded on by social pressure, people spend their short lives tiring mind and body to chase after these goals. Perhaps this gives them the feeling that they have achieved something in their lives, but in reality they have sacrificed a lot in life. They can no longer see, hear, act, feel, or think from their hearts. Everything they do is dictated by whether it can get them social gains. In the end, they’ve spent their lives following other people’s demands and never lived a life of their own. How different is this from the life of a prisoner or slave? . . .

In the short time we are here, we should listen to our own voices and follow our own hearts. Why not be free and live your own life? Why follow other people’s rules and live to please others?

– Yang Chu , Lieh Tzu

A psychology of abundance flows naturally from the Tao, the way of life. Moving from the unity of the Tao, from the experience of oneness with all of life, we receive the natural abundance of the universe with ease in a spirit of gratitude and joy. Thus, the energy flows freely in our lives, and we fulfill our innate destinies. Recognizing the innate power and dignity of all of life, we live in harmony with it and its natural cycles. Respecting our humanity above any outer goal or reward, we cultivate the sense of leisure and peace necessary to appreciate the beauty and order inherent in life, and thus, allow it to express itself through us in all we do….

While no individual can single-handedly change the global economic system, each of us can transform our own experience of abundance. Where once we saw lack, debt, and conflict, we can begin to see gifts, opportunities, and mutual support. We can each, in our own way, challenge the widespread belief that we live in a world of lack.

– Laurence G. Boldt, The Tao of Abundance Excerpt at Spiritwalk

“Not what we have, But what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance.” — Epicurus

“Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend… when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present — love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure — the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach

We went through several years of not having much money and being heavily in debt while my kids were small. I had made the decision to be home with them while they grew up, in part because I came across the phrase, “The work will come again, but childhood won’t.” I also went back to school to get my MBA, which added to our debt, but I needed to invest in myself, so we sacrificed other things. We didn’t have much money and at times it was stressful, but I felt blessed to be able to be there watching my kids grow up and furthering my education.

Now, we have plenty. And yet, we didn’t move up to that bigger house I had once imagined, we still drive the used cars we bought then, and while we’ve spent a bit of money to fix up this house, we haven’t made the choice to go deeper in debt and buy something bigger or fancier. What we learned while we were broke was that the things that were most important to us were not material things. What made our lives abundant was our family, our friends, and the feeling of taking care of what we had rather than abandoning it to pursue something else.

We had lack, and debt, and conflict – when you are struggling financially, it certainly creates conflict! But now, we do have gifts, opportunites, and mutual support. But we had to trust that those things would happen. We had to believe in ourselves and our ability to create abundance.

So if you are in abundance, celebrate. Stop stressing about what you lack and celebrate what you have. And if you lack something in your life, trust in yourself to be able to find it. Trust in those around you to help you find it, and ask for their help. If you have abundance, share it with others, don’t be selfish about giving, because what you give to others will return to you in ways you least expect.

Realize that when you have abundance, you can plant the seeds that will grow in the future. What seeds do you want to plant? What future do you want to leave for the next generation? Are the fancy toys or big house or car so important that you must have them now, or can that energy and abundance go to energizing the seeds of the future? Another quote that struck me in those difficult times was,

“One hundred years from now, it will not matter what your bank account was, the sort of house you lived in, or the kind of car you drove, but the world may be different because you were important in the life of a child.”

We reap the rewards of our harvest, but we also need to store some away to sustain us through the lean times that may be ahead and preserve some seeds to plant in the future as well. Only in that way can we sustain the abundance we enjoy today.

Namaste.

[ This is a repost of an old Tao posting of mine on Abundance from last August]

The five colours blind the eye.
The five tones deafen the ear.
The five flavours dull the taste.
Racing and hunting madden the mind.
Precious things lead one astray.
Therefore the sage is guided by what he feels and not by what he sees. He lets go of that and chooses this.
– Tao Te Ching, 12

I was talked into a hair coloring yesterday when I went in for a haircut. Hey he was a tall, dark, handsome Cuban – how could I say no? Actually we had a really good talk about life in Cuba, politics, and the state of the world today. He has family in Cuba and Sweden, where he lived for several years, and went to hair college in London. So, now my hair is pretty much back to its “real” color rather than the honey blonde I have worn for years. We’ll see how much people like it.

Not exalting the gifted prevents quarrelling. Not collecting treasure prevents stealing. Not seeing desirable things prevents confusion of the heart. — Tao Te Ching, 3

We talk about getting our heart’s desire, as if that is a natural thing. But desire does not come from the heart, it comes from the mind. We need to protect our hearts from desire. The heart can love, but it does not desire. When you desire to be as gifted as another, you are feeling envy, not love. Don’t put the work of others above your own. Their work is their work, your work is your work. Their gift is their gift, your gift is your gift. You can work on improving your skill, but be sure it is your own skills you improve, and not merely to copy the work of others. Then you will not be envious of their work, but will begin to see the true beauty of your own.

I love this idea from quilt artist Melody Johnson. Melody blogs so well about her quilting and her art is gorgeous. Her idea for an “answer book” collection of art examples for when you need inspiration is great.

Fibermania

Don’t you wish you had an answer book for your exclusive quiltmaking use? I have one. It is not for technique help, for that there are other books that anyone can buy. This one is for design help.

I was stuck last night and couldn’t figure out how to solve a design dilemma. I went to sleep knowing that my subconcious would work on it and voila! this morning I knew I could find the answer in my design scrapbook.

It is a book of pictures of art, culled from lots of different sources, but only pictures of art that appeals specifically to me. I eliminated anything that smacked of ‘art I should like’ and put in everything else. I glue-stuck the pictures and postcards and catalog parts in NO particular order. After having this book all these years, I can pretty much find whatever I need just like you know what the next song will be when listening to an entire cd.

There are oodles of different artists and styles, as well as differing media represented, and as I look at the design in the paintings or whatever they are, I see some good ideas that could maybe work in my quilt design. I am not lifting the exact design, but only the concept which is much easier than copying anyway.

I eliminated any names of artists or text of any kind as that shifts the brain’s perceptions and one can’t absorb ideas in the same way. Another helpful part is that these artworks are generally not quilts, and I think of my quilting as paintings anyway, just dry, so that helps me much more than looking at quilts for inspiration. Plus then there is no jealousy or envy to deal with on my part. You know how I am.

I keep this book handy for other uses too. When I think my work is going to be too outlandish, I see these paintings and think how really pedestrian my work is, and then I pump it up a bit more. Risk takers fill these pages. And when it comes to quilting, I like risk taking design.

I started working with Marianne Hieb’s book, “Inner Journeying through Art Journaling”, a beautiful and inspiring book on the art journaling process. Marianne works mainly with oil pastels, so that is what this work is drawn with. Her first exercise is to doodle about the question, “what are all the elements of your life as it exists today?”.

My process was to dump all the oil pastels onto the middle of the paper, and start drawing on the available space as it emerged when I picked up each color. If colors rolled off, I used them next.

So this is what emerged, a picture of me with my golden retrievers at Lake Poway near us. The hills of Poway are in the background, and we are lounged comfortably under a tree by the lake’s edge. I’m very attached to my golden retrievers, and one of my dreams is to someday have a ranch where I can raise goldens and train them as service and companion dogs, to give away to those who need them. I also want to be able to host a rescue program, repurposing those dogs that can be trained and finding good homes for the rest. Right now, I have no space for that, and these two goldens are my only rescues, who have become my wonderful companions.

But they are not all the elements of my life, so I wonder a bit at why this drawing emerged. Perhaps they are simply the most peaceful part of my life, along with the elements of nature, that strengthen and support my connection to the Tao. Or perhaps I need to take the goldens to the lake, sit uinder this tree and contemplate the elements of my life to develop a clearer picture. Anyway, this was a useful exercise for me, so thought I would pass it along. Marianne uses oil pastels, but you really could just draw or paint with pretty much anything. Marianne’s process involves eight stages:

Preparation stages:

1. supplying art supplies

2. settling in

3. visualizing

Art-journaling stages:

4. posing the question

5. responding with art materials

6. gazing

7. writing

8. noticing

“We are growing organisms, springing from a source and reaching for water, bending toward the sun. Like the seed, we are on a journey toward becoming who we already are.” — Marianne Hieb

Love this quote!

inkycircus

“The human strategy is to stay small as long as possible and then shoot up and get big just before you’re about to be useful,” Gurven said. “It’s good economics.”…