Changing Places

Ate the first blueberries out of my garden yesterday. There were only three ripe ones, but they were tasty. Who knew blueberries could thrive in SoCal!

Some of my niece Courtney’s artwork. You can see this is where the true art talent (and beauty!) in the family lives. ;^)

Ivanov Grigory, “Wayfarer of the wind”. Oil on canvas. 1994. 70×70.

For wayfarers of all times, the right strategy for skillfully spreading the Way essentially lies in adapting to communicate. Those who do not know how to adapt stick to the letter and cling to doctrines, get stuck on forms and mired in sentiments — none of them succeed in strategic adaptation.

– Zhantang

“The artist must be a developed individual — an authentic hero and never a mere product of society. The hero, as Dorothea Dooling so aptly expressed it, “may be you or me, but only at the highest reaches of our most impossible possibility.” Her role is to release the active powers of nature, soul and spirit into the lives of men. The intensity of her vision is reflected in her capacity to fuse these three into a radiant, harmonious whole. Nature provides the medium and energy of the work — the dancer’s body, the painter’s colors, the sculptor’s stone, the composer’s instruments, the poet’s paper and ink or computer chip — as well as the body’s transformation of these. The musician trains her ear, the painter, his eyes and hand, the dancer her body. The soul provides the symbols, the mythic forms, the archetypal energies through which a universally human art is made intelligible. The spirit arrests the mind — projecting the experiencer out of himself into the realm of the infinite, the transcendent Mystery.” — Laurence G. Boldt, Zen and the Art of Making a Living.

“Thoroughly to know oneself, is above all art, for it is the highest art.”
– Theologia Germanica

Via Innovators and Catalysts

Via Informed Dissent….

JON BEINART’S TODDLERPEDES

Made me giggle….

OK, my 30 year high school reunion is in a month. I’ve known this since December, so did I bother to lose weight? No, of course not. I haven’t even been to the gym in months. Self-sabotage, I suppose. Anyway, now my butt has decided to expand to gargantuan proportions. Normally, I know I have a big butt and celebrate it, but right now, (squeezing into my size 12 jeans when I really ought to be putting on my 14s, but I’m mad at myself and I WILL wear these jeans, damn it!) I’m a bit pissed off at myself. WHY haven’t I gone to the gym? Because I feel like crap, because I haven’t been going to the gym.

I know, I’m in rant mode this week and being pissed at myself mode, but - I’m tired of this. I’m tired of all the excuses for all the things I don’t do that I know I need to do.

Gah. I was actually in shape, once. Played soccer, even, until I had kids. Even then, I worked out, stayed in shape most of the time, except for those years I was really depressed and out of things. Even now, I know it’s not that bad, that there are hard muscles under there from Pilates and yoga, but they are not as strong as they once were, and that bothers me. My back hurts, because the back and stomach muscles aren’t supporting it correctly.
I know this, and I know how to fix it - but I don’t do it.

It’s infuriating. Yes, I lost my fantastic yoga teacher and it bummed me out, yes, I have Japanese class taking up my workout time, yes, there are a million excuses - but - I want my body back, damn it. Yes, I could use a workout partner, a personal trainer, a buddy to make me go, whatever. I want to stop with the excuses and go to the gym and work out and get in shape, I really do.

But, I don’t….

Sigh.

This must be why books are stored in “stacks”.

This is all the books and art books and just plain stuff that has collected in the window by my computer this year. I set stuff here, to get to “later”, but - when is later, anyway? Meanwhile, I’m happily reading away at the blogs or out and about in the garden, or hunting down groceries, or whatever.

I’m tired of my stacks, my piles, the stuff of life that is literally everywhere in the house. I’m tired of my stuff, my husband’s stuff, my kid’s stuff. And this is *after* we’ve actually thinned out most of what we don’t need!

I use paperbackswap, and love it for getting rid of books. But then I order more, that I don’t read either, or that I start and then put down to get to - later. But like I said, when is later…

I have journals I don’t write in, art supplies I don’t use, stuff, stuff, stuff. And I *want* to write, and read, and do art. I just don’t get to it. If I schedule my time, I’m annoyed that I have to schedule stuff that should be fun, and I just rebel. If I don’t schedule my time, I find tons of things to do. But nothing that I really would like to get done, just - other stuff.

Does anyone have a suggestion? How can I get myself to actually get to the fun stuff I want to do? I’ve tried the journaling and the artist’s dates from artist’s way, and just felt like they were yet more things I “had” to do.

Ozy and Millie, by D.C. Simpson

Sometimes we all need to embrace our inner misfit…

OK, I guess I have big hands for a woman. I bought these “one size” woman’s gloves, but they don’t fit. I think they would fit a woman with more normal size hands just fine, though.

Anyway, if you would like them, let me know, either comment here or by email to donna at woodka dot com, and I’ll send them along to you. First come, first served, sorry.

Heather Mendel

After A While
by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

I read this poem ages ago, while I was learning these things. Now having learned them, it still speaks to me.

But I am glad I still have someone to bring me flowers, too.

FASCISTS. There is nothing else to call these people.

Attorney Gen.: Reporters Can Be Prosecuted - Yahoo! News

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said Sunday he believes journalists can be prosecuted for publishing classified information, citing an obligation to national security.

The nation’s top law enforcer also said the government will not hesitate to track telephone calls made by reporters as part of a criminal leak investigation, but officials would not do so routinely and randomly.

“There are some statutes on the book which, if you read the language carefully, would seem to indicate that that is a possibility,” Gonzales said, referring to prosecutions. “We have an obligation to enforce those laws. We have an obligation to ensure that our national security is protected.”

Danny Gregory wants to get his drawing back in touch with his life again:

By Danny Gregory

I have lost touch with the most important thing to me, my life as I live it. Not my life as it is ornamented and sugar crusted but the plain old eat-some-cereal, smell-the-tubeorse, watch-the-dog-sunbathe life that I actually lead. The life that isn’t destined for some other purpose or audience or analysis but just is. The authentic life that starts each day with an emptying bladder and wraps it up with a stretch of floss.

It’s not just me. It’s easy for anyone to get caught up with the enthusiasm for this drawing stuff to get overly involved in drawing prompts, in posting to a blog, to shopping for art supplies, taking classes, and planning sketchcrawls, and to forget the most important thing, the true purpose of it all. To draw what you live so you will live it more deeply.

Life without drawing is bad.
And drawing without life is bad too.

I am going to go out and have that tattooed on me somewhere prominent. But first, let me do some research into tattooing, pick a type face, plan out a color palette, comparison-shop pain killers…

It is so easy to get caught up in the stuff of life, the busy-ness, the bloggy-ness. I spend a lot of my time reading blogs, sometimes as escape but mostly because I find what others have to say so fascinating. But, I spend a lot of time simply living, too. Not that being and existing is very respected in a country where everyone’s second question after your name is, “And what do you do?”

Next to my computer here is a little penguin who gives me his perspective on life:

“I do nothing in particular, but I do it very well!” — W.S. Gilbert

Life is just too short to get so busy and caught up in important stuff to do that you stop actually living. Sometimes, you just have to breathe. And then you can draw. And paint. And create. But only if those things are adding something to your life in the process. If they aren’t it may be time for a breather.

Via Bartcop…

One of my first attempts at playing with Chaos Pro

The Tao is forever undefined.
Small though it is in the unformed state, it cannot be grasped.
If kings and lords could harness it,
The ten thousand things would naturally obey.
Heaven and earth would come together
And gentle rain fall.
Men would need no more instruction
and all things would take their course.

Once the whole is divided, the parts need names.
There are already enough names.
One must know when to stop.
Knowing when to stop averts trouble.
Tao in the world is like a river flowing home to the sea.

– Tao Te Ching, 32

Vulnerability Monster, Melanie Weidner

A warrior takes every person as an adversary.
He sees all their vulnerable points,
And trains to eliminate his own.
A sage has no vulnerable points.

A warrior takes everyone as a potential adversary. He assesses each person that he meets for their strengths and weaknesses, and he places himself strategically. No confrontation is ever a surprise. Protection, competition, honor, and righteousness are his principles.

He is the weapon. Therefore, a warrior trains body and mind to perfection. He knows that the average person has hundred of points where death can enter. For himself, he seeks to eliminate as many of his own vulnerabilities as possible. In combat, he defends one or two points, and the rest of his attention is devoted to strategy and offense. Yet no warrior can eliminate all vulnerable points. Even for a champion, there is always at least one. Only the way of the sage eliminates all weaknesses.

It is said that the sage has no points for death to enter. This makes the sage, who is perfect in Tao, superior to the warrior, who is merely skilled in Tao. The warrior accepts death, but does not go beyond it. The sage goes beyond concepts of protection, competition, honor, and righteousness, and has no fear of death. The sage knows that nothing dies, that life is mere illusion: Life is but one dream flowing into another.

Deng Ming-Dao, 365 Tao

Most of us train in our lives as warriors. We think of life as a competition, and we set out to “win” things for ourselves. But the reality is that life is as much about cooperation as competition, and many of us don’t really know how to cooperate to produce the most common good, or even to get the things we really want from life. If we could just take them from someone else, it would be so much easier, it seems.

Perhaps what the sage understands is that there isn’t really that much of a need to compete, since there is so little that one actually needs in life, and if you have controlled your ego, there is little that you want, either. You learn to be satisfied with life itself, and draw your pleasure and happiness from the deep connection to life as a whole that you maintain. So life becomes more an experience of cooperation with the world around you, with others, rather than one of competition.

Don’t be fooled by the sage, though - they still know how to kick your ass if it’s necessary.

______________________

This is a repost from last year around this time of year. I thought I would take a look back at my progress over the last few years, and last year, posting on Deng Ming Dao’s wonderful words, was around the time I finally felt “complete” in myself - without needing another person, a job, or any activity to make me feel “whole”. I became happiest alone, where I could simply be, without anyone else’s expectations imposed on me. These days, I still feel best when I am simply by myself.

But I’m learning to open up again, to let other people in a bit more. This blog has been a huge part of that, and I’m far more open here than I am in my day to day life. Around friends, I’m still a bit guarded and cautious, still a bit afraid, I think. But not so much for myself anymore - I think I can handle whatever others might do to me. I think the caution is more what I might do to them. Perhaps that is the part of all this I haven’t really dealt with yet - the capacity I once had to do great harm to others emotionally. I like to think this is gone, but - I read other people very well, and usually know where they are vulnerable. I know how to push buttons, and can do it without effort.

I think that is still my real fear. I need to stop living as a warrior, and truly embrace being a sage.

Dunno how else to explain why Wyoming, Idaho and Utah are still clueless…

UPDATE:

Perhaps we ought to build that immigration fence around these three states, and the rest of us can just peacefully live our lives…

Wyoming… Where the men are men, the sheep are nervous, and the women carry .454 Casulls (must be why the men go after the sheep)

Idaho… Apparently the USDA has an Agricultural Research Service’s U.S. Sheep Experiment Station in Dubois, Idaho. Wonder what they do there…

Utah… Is apparently the only state where the U.S. government has used weapons of mass destruction on sheep.

Print Story: Where Does Brian Bilbray Really Live? on Yahoo! News

It is now more than just mudslinging in the race for the 50th Congressional District.

Wednesday, the Democratic Party called for an investigation into allegations of perjury and voter fraud against Republican candidate Brian Bilbray.

Democrats said the proof is in property records from three homes and Bilbray?s declaration of candidacy.

These are serious allegations against a man who has run a campaign saying San Diego is and always will be his home.

The ad states San Diego is the home where Republican congressional candidate Bilbray said he lives.

“I live in Carlsbad, taking care of my mother,” Bilbray said.

He said he has lived in the Carlsbad house since March 2005.

It is the address he used in his declaration of candidacy for the North County congressional seat.

Democrats said Bilbray does not live at that address.

?It was a convenient residence to use for this particular election since it is the 50th Congressional District,” said County Democratic Party Chair Jess Durfee

In fact, there are serious questions about where Bilbray really lives.

Virginia property records show Bilbray claims a home in Alexandria, Va., as his primary residence, for tax purposes.

The same is true for a home in Imperial Beach.

Bilbray and his wife, Karen, also claim the Imperial Beach home as their primary residence.

“He’s misleading us. He’s stating different things, different places, for different purposes,” said Durfee.

“If these records existed since last August, and they had issues with them, then why didn’t they raise them before?” asked Bilbray.

Bilbray stands by his claims of his Carlsbad residence.

Neighbors told 10News they rarely ever see Bilbray at the house, which is his mother’s home.

“He comes here occasionally to see his mother like boys will do, but he doesn’t live here,” said neighbor Frank Knudsen.

“If he does live here, he must leave late at night and come back early in the morning,” said neighbor Bill Rider.

Another man, who lives right next door, said he wondered when people would catch on that Bilbray does not live here.

The Republican candidate said it?s a last-minute smear campaign.

“Frankly the attacks will continue right up until the election.” Bilbray

He stands by his television ads.

There are also allegations Bilbray’s children testified they lived in Virginia for purposes of paying in-state college tuition there.

Democrats are asking the California and Virginia attorneys general to investigate.

If Bilbray lives in Virginia, he may not be eligible to run for the congressional seat here.

Comment Spammers belong here in this nice pot of boiling oil. Some damn insurance site is spamming my blog like crazy today. I HATE these morons. It does nothing but annoy people and make them hate your product. Stop it.

Over The Hedge