Changing Places

“Natural objects — living things in particular — are like a language we can only faintly remember. It is as if creation had been dismembered sometime in the past and all things are limbs we have lost that will make us whole if we can only recall them…. the reception of objects reveals that the gifted self is a thing that breathes. Their entrance is itself the lesson. We are not sealed in clacium like the clam. Identity is neither “yours” nor “mine”, but comes of a communion with the world. “Ever atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.”… Identity is specific, sexed, time-bound, mortal. It is drawn together and then dispersed. The self is more enduring… the self takes on identity through its reception of objects — be they perceived lilac leaves or the atoms of the physical body — and the self gives up identity as it abandons these objects. It is the process (the breathing) or the container (the lung) in which the process occurs. ”

“… there is a middle phase in the process of the gifted self: between sympathy and pride, between the reception and the bestowal, lies a moment in which new identity comes to life as old identity perishes…. Old identity breaks to receive the new. The new may simply replace the old or.. old identity may fuse with the outer object, a marriage, a new flesh…”

“The self that identifies with a cycle of gifts takes its own activity as its identity — not the reception of objects, not the bestowal of particular contents, but the entire process, the respiration, the give-and-take of sympathy and pride…”

“The self becomes gifted when it identifies with a commerce of gifts and the gifted self is prolific. In nature the Osiris-force is the resurrection of the wheat; in a commerce of gifts it is the increase; in the gifted self it is creativity, and for a poet, in particular, it is original speech.”

– Lewis Hyde, The Gift

Over the Hedge

In case you’re looking for a safer investment considering the state of the financial market right now….

Pies from the Parkland College Library, Pi Day, 2006

Hey, happy Pi Day! Be sure to celebrate at 1:59! (Or whenever) I think we’ll get some Apple Pi and French Vanilla ice cream – how about you?

Pi Day » The official web site for Pi Day, March 14th

Pi, Greek letter (π), is the symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Pi = 3.1415926535… Pi Day is celebrated by math enthusiasts around the world on March 14th.

I spent an afternoon cuddling these little behbehs today – such fun!

Judy is doing some early training of this litter of puppehs and exposing them to all kinds of different stimuli – the yard full of toys and distractions she has set up for them is amazing. They are only seven weeks old, but it’s very difficult to phase them with anything – pretty fearless little guys and gals.

So, Republicans can’t even handle their own money, and taxpayers are supposed to trust them with their money?

I don’t think so.

Not even a second sign-off. I’ve NEVER worked for an organization that didn’t require at least two signatures to transfer money. Ever. This is not just fraud – it’s organizational stupidity.

NRCC Treasurer Accused of Campaign Fraud

The former treasurer for the National Republican Congressional Committee transferred as much as $1 million in committee funds into his personal and business accounts, officials announced today, describing a scheme that could prove to be one of the largest campaign frauds in recent history.

For at least four years, Christopher J. Ward, who is under investigation by the FBI, used wire transfers to funnel money out of the NRCC and into other political committees he controlled, then shifted the funds into his own personal accounts, the committee said.

“The evidence we have today indicated we have been deceived and betrayed for a number of years by a highly respected and trusted individual,” said Rep. Tom Cole (R-Okla.), NRCC chairman.

The committee also announced that it had submitted to banks five years of audits and financial documents allegedly forged by Ward, some of which were used to secure multimillion-dollar loans. It is a violation of federal bank fraud laws to obtain loans through false statements; such crimes are punishable by up to $1 million in fines and 30 years in prison.

Prior to today, the committee had not acknowledged that any money was missing. It announced Feb. 1 that it had discovered “irregularities” and had called in federal investigators to pursue a fraud case.

Robert K. Kelner, a lawyer with Covington & Burling, which has been hired by the committee to oversee a forensic audit, told reporters that at this point he could say for certain only that Ward had diverted “several hundred thousand dollars” in unauthorized payments dating to 2004. However, he said that the year-end report filed with the Federal Election Commission in 2006 overstated the NRCC’s actual cash on hand by $990,000.

That might be the upper level of how much money Ward allegedly skimmed from NRCC coffers, but Kelner said forensic auditors need to keep “drilling down” to determine how much was inappropriately taken and how much might have been the result of sloppy bookkeeping.

Kelner said that Ward had the sole power at the NRCC to use wire transfers to shift money into any accounts he wanted. “He was able to get a wire transfer without getting a second sign-off,” Kelner said.

Nothing is meant to be.
There is no predestination.

In ancient texts, the idea of predestination is very strong, but the usage of the the term is purely metaphorical. People in the past used the word to express feelings of affinity for a place, a time, or for others. But nothing of the future is set.

There is no cosmic puppeteer at work. We are solely responsible for our own actions. It is true that we can become mired in circumstances so strong and so far reaching that they will continue to have ramifications far into the future. For example, if we construct circumstances right, such as starting an organization to help others, then the good will last for a long time. However, if we fall far into debt and do nothing to help ourselves, then the bad will also last a long time. Yet in both cases, our lasting situations are results of our own actions. This is not destiny. It is causality.

Causality is from the past, and nothing is acting from the future. There is no script, no pattern to walk into. Everything has to be created, and we are the artists.

Those who follow Tao endeavor to have as few restrictions placed upon them as possible. By completing each action, they minimize causality. By living fully in the present, they absorb the best of what each day has to offer. By understanding that there is no literal destiny, fate, or predestination, they keep the future as free and open as possible. That is truly the openness of life.

Deng Ming-Dao, 365 Tao

“The best weapon of a dictatorship is secrecy,
but the best weapon of a democracy
should be the weapon of openness.”
—Niels Bohr

Show me one who boasts continually of his “openness,” and I will show you one who conceals much.
– Minna Thomas Antrim (1906 – 2001) US writer

We tend to be so bombarded with information. . . This is antithetical to the kind of openness and perception you have to have to be receptive to poetry. . . . poetry seems to exist in a parallel universe outside daily life in America.
Rita Dove (1952 – ____) US poet, educator
In “New York Times,” sect. 4, p. 7, 20 Jun 1993.

“The brain’s calculations do not require our conscious effort, only our attention and our openness to let the information through. Although the brain absorbs universes of information, little is admitted into normal consciousness.” — Marilyn Ferguson

“I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.” — Joseph Addison

“The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first they love the produce of the second.” (John Steinbeck, Cannery Row)

“Ineffective people live day after day with unused potential. They experience synergy only in small, peripheral ways in their lives. But creative experiences can be produced regularly, consistently, almost daily in people’s lives. It requires enormous personal security and openness and a spirit of adventure.” — Stephen R. Covey

I try to leave my time as open as possible. I guess that seems strange in our society where everything is so scheduled and planned to the last minute of the day. But for me, dropping the dayplanner from my life when I’m not consulting was the best thing for me, so the Covey quote is a bit ironic. . Scheduling is reserved only for the things that have to be organized with other people, and the rest of my time is as free as possible.

The funny thing is, the things you really need to get done are done, and the things you think you need to do but don’t really – get done, too. Somehow, in not scheduling time, there becomes more time, because you aren’t constantly thinking about what you “have” to do, and don’t end up feeling tired and overwhelmed by everything.

I do a lot of my “time management” by ignoring things. My house isn’t alway spotless anymore, but if no one is visiting me, nobody here seems to mind. And when unexpected guests drop in, they are typically more comfortable because they feel “at home”, and not ashamed of how messy their own place is. If I apologize for messiness, the usual reaction is, “you ought to see my place!” I have someone in to deep clean every three weeks or so, and the rest of the time, if the laundry and dishes are done, and the bathroom and kitchen are reasonably clean, we’re doing all right. The best way to keep things clean is to get rid of stuff, so there’s not as much to take care of anyway. We live in a small home and there’s not room for a whole lot of crap to build up. The kids’ rooms are their own, and they are responsible for making sure we can walk through without injury. Beyond that, we just ask them (or bug them) to clean up once in a while.

The garden stays gorgeous because I am in it at least once a day or so, and whenever I see a weed I pull it – without feeling like I need to clean up all the weeds in the yard. When I am in the mood to pull weeds, I do as much as I feel like doing and leave the rest.

I’m not especially concerned about completed action in most cases. I’m pretty good about finishing tasks, but, being a mom, I’m also good about getting interrupted and still remembering what I needed to do. If you don’t handle interruption well (like my husband), then you need to be more concerned about finishing fully. But I think I’m at a place now where this is becoming more important in my life. I need to complete what I am doing or thinking instead of leaving things undone to be finished later.

I don’t believe in predestination, but I do believe in karma. There is cause and effect between what you do, how you treat others, and how life responds to you. People usually think of openness in terms of having nothing to hide from other people. If you think of your life in terms of cause and effect, though, and realize that what you do comes back to you, then you act without intent to harm others, and have nothing to hide. Then you can be open not just with your time, but your feelings as well.

After three months with no period, this one is now in its ninth day and still going strong.

Perimenopause sucks.

Wish he would make up his mind.

Bush explains veto of waterboarding bill – Yahoo! News

President Bush said Saturday he vetoed legislation that would ban the CIA from using harsh interrogation methods such as waterboarding to break suspected terrorists because it would end practices that have prevented attacks.

“The bill Congress sent me would take away one of the most valuable tools in the war on terror,” Bush said in his weekly radio address taped for broadcast Saturday. “So today I vetoed it,” Bush said. The bill provides guidelines for intelligence activities for the year and includes the interrogation requirement. It passed the House in December and the Senate last month.

Thanks, Arnie!

Tell us again how all our problems are Grey Davis’ fault, will ya?

But I’m sure the rich will still get to keep their tax breaks – heaven forbid they should help balance the budget or anything. No, we have to lose teachers instead.

Now WHY is it I’m not supposed to hate Republicans again?

Pink slips going out to 150 PUSD teachers | The Pomerado Newspaper Group

A 10 percent cut in teaching positions, larger class sizes and a reduction in the district’s transportation services are among $15.5 million in possible cuts Poway Unified officials are considering for the 2008-2009 budget.

Some of the most substantial savings for the district, as outlined by Superintendent Don Phillips during a special Board of Trustees meeting Monday evening, would be the result of laying off 150 teachers and increasing class sizes in grades four through 12. That move would save about $7.8 million, according to district estimates. The district has about a $258 million budget.

While all of the cuts are still in the preliminary stages, district officials are reacting to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s proposed $4.4 billion slash in education funding to relieve a $16 billion state deficit.

The district’s preliminary plan calls for the elimination of 37 kindergarten teachers, 11 fourth- and fifth-grade teachers, 42 sixth- through eighth-grade teachers and 55 high school teachers.

I am reposting this since I had to be reminded of it today. ;^) With much thanks to Martha P. for whacking me upside the head. Namaste!

_________________________________

Crimson light through pine shadows.
Setting sun settling in the ocean.
Night follows the setting sun.
Day follows the fleeing moon.

All too often, we tend to think of absorption as a static thing: Water is absorbed into a sponge, and there it stays. But true absorption is a total involvement in the evolution of life without hesitation or contradiction. In nature there is no alienation. Everything belongs.

Only human beings hold ourselves aloof from this process. We have our civilizations, our personal plans, our own petty emotions. We divorce ourselves from process, even as we yearn for love, companionship, understanding, and communion. We constantly defeat ourselves by questioning, asserting ourselves at the wrong times, or letting hatred and pride cloud our perceptions. Our alienation is self-generated.

In the meantime, all of nature continues its constant flow. We need to let ourselves go, enter freely into the process of nature, and become absorbed in it. If we integrate ourselves with that process, we will find success. Then the sequence of things will be as evident as the coming of the sun and the moon, and everything will be as it should be.

Deng Ming-Dao, 365 Tao

I think humans fail to be absorbed in Tao because they are usually so self-absorbed. For me this was wanting for other people to see my viewpoint, instead of recognizing that theirs was just as valid. I tend to step outside myself more now, and see my viewpoint as if watching someone else, or a character in a story. Then I can see both sides of an issue, and the issue itself, and that it does not have “sides” at all, but is merely part of something larger, perhaps a part of shifting positions that have been in play for years or even decades.

It took me a long time to realize that everything is really about process. I was a software developer for years, and always had a process, and then watched as that process deteriorated and people stopped being trained as engineers. They would just hack things together instead of follwing the process of development. I went back into software QA and process management, trying to rebuild that process where I could. Now, I work on the process of my own life for a while and watch it in nature, in people, in all of life around me. I am fascinated watching the process of political change that is taking place in this country, one most people are unaware of. And so it brings me to Tao, because Tao is about process, and how things happen and how they change.

So, time to stop being alienated, and become absorbed. Not self-absorbed, but absorbed in nature and Tao. No need to feel alienated when you know you belong.

I got to meet Gene Wilder tonight (briefly) signing his new book, “The Woman Who Wouldn’t”.

I told him “thank you”, and, “it was wonderful”, and he looked surprised, so I said “I read it in line”.

He looked at me surprised and a bit sad, and said, “The whole book?”

So I smiled and said, “Yes!” and “Thanks for everything”, and shook his hand and he squeezed mine. It was awesome.

My favorite passage from the book, the one that made me cry:

“I brushed away a fly that looked like it was about to land on Clara’s eyelid. What an angel face she has. I don’t want her to die. And I don’t want her to fall in love with me on the rebound from that asshole she was married to, or out of vulnerability because of her thoughts of death and cancer. I just want her to be happy, for as many weeks or months or days that she has. The pain is going to come later, Dr. Gross said. Well, watch over her, Jeremy. But I’ll be glad when I’m healthy enough to return to my work and my home, without responsibility for Clara’s happiness.”

That evening I received a note addressed to Mr. Webb, from Mrs. Mulpas. It read:

Dear Jeremy:
Too tired to eat dinner…perhaps because I’m so happy after our lovely picnic. I’ll see you tomorrow. I hope you’re happy, too.

Clara

UPDATE:

This is pretty cool – here’s an interview with Wilder the day after the book signing I was at:

GW: I went to a book signing last night at the Borders book shop in Caramel Mountain. I had never been there before. And there were people who had come at 8 in the morning to get a number. And when I walked in — I’m used to big crowds, but not this big — it was overwhelming. And here’s the answer to your question. When it started, we saw one of the parents carrying a baby. I said , “How old is that baby? It looks so young!” — “Three months.” Then I saw another parent carrying a baby. “How old is that baby?” — “Five weeks.” So there were kids, then there were the parents of the kids, then there were the parents of the parents, and then there were the parents of the parents of the parents. I mean, I had generations! And happened at every book signing! When there were people in their late 70s early 80s, then in the 60s, then in the 40s and then as teenagers or young married couples in their 20s. Age was spread across the board, and that’s a nice thing. But… well, I suppose, I have an ideal. Probably a woman involved, who is reading the book and crying afterwards. My memoir, it used to be called “I Lean Towards Women”, and I thought it was a stupid title because it sounded like a man who had one leg shorter than the other. Then I remembered what Gilda had said 3 weeks before she died “I have a title for you” and it didn’t make any sense to me till 14 years later!

Another Wilder interview here.

McCain and Bush eating cake while NOLA drowned after Katrina

OK, so now since the Republicans will go with McCain I have a question….

If by some dreadful chance they win, will we call the new Hoovervilles “McCainvilles”, or “McBushvilles”?

I rather like McBushvilles myself – I think all future references to McCain should just be McBush in fact, or perhaps Bush Lite or maybe even “New Bush”?

What do you guys think?

Then again, there is already a McCainville in Alabama, so that’s taken. I guess we’ll have to go with McBushvilles, then.

Drought burns basins to dust,
Light rain is a dew of mockery.
Receive without complaint,
Work with fate.

When the countryside is gripped in drought, it is useless to complain. Even when light rains fail to moisten the parched landscape, we should accept what happens. This is the way of Tao, and one who follows Tao accepts what comes.

We may have ambitions to move in one direction, but Tao will decide otherwise. We may have plans for the future, but Tao will bend time differently. There are those who will cry out in anger and frustration, but the follower of Tao remains silent and goes about the business of preparation.

Acceptance does not mean fatalism. It does not mean capitulation to some slaughtering predestination. Those who follow Tao do not believe in being helpless. They believe in acting within the framework of circumstance. For example, in a drought, they will prepare by storing what water is available. That is sensible action. They will not plant a garden of flowers that requires a great deal of water. That is ignorance and egotism.

Acceptance is a dynamic act. It should not signal inertness, stagnation, or inactivity. One should simply ascertain what the situation requires and then implement what one thinks is best. As long as one’s deeds are in accord with the time and one leaves no sloppy traces, then the action is correct.

Deng Ming-Dao, 365 Tao

Accept and you become whole,
Bend and you straighten,
Empty and you fill,
Decay and you renew,
Want and you acquire,
Fulfill and you become confused.

The sage accepts the World
As the World accepts Tao;
He does not display himself, so is clearly seen,
Does not justify himself, so is famed,
Does not boast, so is credited,
Does not glory, so excels,
Does not contend, so no one contends against him.

The saints said, “Accept and you become whole”,
Once whole, the World is as your home.

– Lao Tsu, Tao Te Ching

Sometimes I just feel like I need to repost this every day. As much as I work to accept my life as it is now as I try and work towards my goals, I still desire the fulfillment, instead of accepting that the work is the important part.

Even desiring acceptance is the wrong path….

I love this post of Casey’s today – please go read the whole thing.

A Personal Tao: Exploring Life with Poetry and Muses

More fundamentally, the problem is deeper, being rooted in everyday lifestyles. In doing nothing meaningful, by being comfortable, by pushing one’s choices out from the home to larger social systems, by not working locally with others. Our society actually removes personal freedom. I am saying this partly because our research also showed an additional surprising truth: the programs and education which worked the best (by a factor of 10 to 1) were the small local programs with active community participation. The larger, more generic programs didn’t nearly improve things to the same effect as acting locally.

So a truth is:

To make a difference isn’t: waiting for government to change or by creating large scale “solutions”. Instead changing personal & local activities to pro-actively live in kindness, working directly with the local community becomes the true force of 80% of the change. The small and local oriented changes are the ones which would make the largest difference in improving the problems we have with the United States correctional system.

In the history of Taoism:

Taoism always concentrates on the local community, on personal choices we each have and in being kind to each other.

While people might focus on the high profile items such as The Yellow Emperor, Lao Tzu, the Tao Te Ching or other high profile works or figures. This only represents the most minor part of Taoist history.

The majority of Taoist history is not even recorded as the majority of Taoist action occurs at the local or personal level of effort. Not many pay attention to the little acts, the helping of each other. Yet enough shrines and occasional scribbled notes of such kindness remain, enough to show us: that is indeed where the heart of the teachings in Taoism reside. Taoism ignores most of its own contributions on purpose! The ideal is to let go of ego and be an part of the larger universe.

Taoism resides centrally to the actions of the heart!

Living this way isn’t easy, which is why when given a choice many people opt for comfort. But a Taoist lifestyle does improve and increase the wealth of experience a 1,000 fold.

The reason we live is to experience life. Taoism is about acting to what you want to be and making life an experience worth expressing. Kindness is core to Taoist philosophy.

When people first learn about Taoism, they assume it is a selfish teaching. However, Taoism is the most selfless religion or philosophy around. The whole practice is to let go of ego and to be part of the universal essence.

I’ve been accused of being selfish and lost friends over it. The irony was that my “selfishness” was one of the most selfless acts I had ever done. It was a situation where I had let go of my ego and simply decided to be there for someone else, and for that, I ended up being ostracized by a group of people who decided their values were better than mine.

Whatever. We don’t always end up with our friendships intact when we take action, but we know our hearts and why we do what we do. And the increase in the depth and strength of the friendships and relationships that survived, plus the wonderful new friends encountered on the path, like Casey, make it worthwhile.