Attention

May 29th, 2008

“We create ourselves by how we invest the energy of our attention” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi , Finding Flow

“Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are” — Jose Ortega y Gasset

“The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention” — Julia Cameron

“If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been due more to patient attention, than to any other talent” — Isaac Newton

“Somewhere around the place I’ve got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger’s Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting” — Terry Pratchett

“The poet produces the beautiful by fixing his attention on something real” — Simone Weil

“The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” — Henry Miller

“The simple act of paying positive attention to people has a great deal to do with productivity” — Tom Peters

“If one cannot command attention by one’s admirable qualities one can at least be a nuisance” — Margery Allingham

“When people bother you in any way, it is because their souls are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing” — Catherine Ponder

“I envy paranoids; they actually feel people are paying attention to them” — Susan Sontag

“One day our descendants will think it incredible that we paid so much attention to things like the amount of melanin in our skin or the shape of our eyes or our gender instead of the unique identities of each of us as complex human beings.” — Franklin Thomas

The One Who Knows

May 29th, 2008

Talks & Essays

The fact is there is no escape from the pain of losing what we love and inevitably become attached to. No escape from the fear, confusion, anger and broken heartedness that comes with the territory of human relationship or simply being Life in the form of a human body. There is no escape from the fall, no escape from the hard landing and no escape from that dark bottom of the well where we find ourselves at these times. When the outcomes of these encounters are painful or even “disastrous”, is it possible to see them not as failures but rather potential dharma gates of deeper compassion, understanding, forgiveness and loving kindness? Is it possible to really meet these times, no matter how agonizing, with an open heart? To meet even the heart that shrinks in pain and fear with gentle attention even when it seems that every fiber in our body and mind want to just get away? This is the heart of our practice and unless we want some artificial, dualistic, imaginary practice we must learn to work with them as such; facing all of this on and off the cushion and meeting these moments that at some times seem to stretch on endlessly with an awareness that allows whatever is there to simply be there. If there is sadness, be there with it as long as it needs your presence. The same with fear, worry, anger, rage, feelings of rejection and failure, broken heartedness and loneliness. This is not about thinking our way out, but rather about learning our way into these seemingly awful times through the power of attention. This is a fierce practice that requires a fiercely loving heart; a loving heart that can hold and contain even the heart that’s broken.

How is it for you when … you figuratively find yourself at the bottom of the pit of your agonizing life situation and you are alone? You are destitute. You are deeply grieved and grieving. At these moments even though we may have people who care for us, we are cut off, unreachable, solitary and destitute. And how can it be otherwise? It can be helpful to talk with friends, a therapist or teacher, but can anyone really reach us when we have lost a child, a partner, a loved one, received a devastating medical diagnosis? When we find that our mind or body is not the immortal and invulnerable something we had thought it was? When we suddenly realize that we are “old”? When we realize that we may not see old age? May not see our children grow up? When the self-image that we hold onto so tightly and identify with so completely or the future we envisage and so desperately hope for is completely shattered or called deeply into question? We want so desperately to be comforted. We want so desperately to be held in a way that just makes it go away; makes it somehow all ok, as though simply because it is painful and frightening it is not ok. And in a certain way it really is not ok. How could anything that so completely throws us down the well be ok? Life makes no mistakes and at some point if we are to truly be alive and free regardless of our life situation, we simply must learn to live beyond the limited images and hopes to which we so desperately cling. As Joko Beck once said, “The one thing in life we can truly count on is Life being exactly how it is.” For some losses, disappointments, betrayals, devastating life changes there is nothing that will make the pain go away and nothing that will mend the rupture that we find ourselves to in fact be. We are that pain, and trying to get rid of it creates a conflict in the mind between what is and what should be that only makes the fire burn more searingly.

The key to working with our “having tumbled down condition” is to see that even at the moment of impact things have changed already and that this moment is not what we think it is. In fact, it is not what we “think” at all! Thinking is always “old”; just a bit behind the curve of life, if you will. Have you looked closely enough, deeply enough? Have you let your situation speak to you its’ complete truth without your assumptions, presuppositions and images of how it should or could be? How will you know if and when this situation and what it stirs up is finished with you, rather than when you are finished with it? Can you see that thinking about whatever is present in your life right now is quite different from what is actually here right now? Have you really become so completely attentive that there is no “you” there observing and hence no separation at all? Are you willing to not feel better too quickly and to follow this pain right down to its roots? This is demanding and austere practice, but if you have not done it then there is more work to do; if you have done it, there is probably still more work to do. And there is no one, absolutely no one, who can do it but you. It is important to have companions on the Way and someone who can encourage you onward with the confidence of having walked this Way before, but only you can do the work of your life. To go so completely into this moment that “you” disappear: What is that? Then, who are you? Are you the one who suffers, or are you the One who Knows?

The new fashion police

May 28th, 2008

Daily Kos: Indiana Malkin and the Slightly Scary Neckware of Doom

So this is what we’ve (well, I say “we”, but I mean a small subset of American patriots who, having absolutely no intention of doing anything meaningful for their country that involves getting out of their chairs, spend their days looking for secret terrorist messages in television commercials) been reduced to. We’re examining the fashion statements of donut ads and parsing them for hints of surreptitious Islamic culture. We’re locked into a mortal combat against those that casually accessorize without remembering that we are at war; we’re mere weeks away from probing the hidden alliances of the doilies on our grandmothers’ coffee tables.

We are a nation that sees images of Jesus on toast. Admit it; there was absolutely no possibility that we would not eventually devolve to this point.

The most fearsome message of The Fashion Menace is that it has shown, once again, just how absurdly simple it would be for Osama bin Laden to bring America to its knees. It would be trivial; it requires only a rudimentary knowledge of American culture and social weaknesses.

To bring America to its knees, all Bin Laden must do is make his next video while drinking from a can of Coca Cola. The nation would erupt in chaos; Coca Cola sales would vanish into nothingness. In his next video, he could casually munch potato chips; the entire snack industry would collapse. One after another, he could film himself driving an American car; he could insert himself into a Girls Gone Wild video; he could appear next to a caveman, or a gecko, or Captain Crunch; he could enroll in DeVry University. On the day he refinanced his home at new historically low rates, the United States housing market would collapse irretrievably. One by one, he could decimate the entire economic fabric of America merely by association. Not one person in fifty would be willing to buck social trends and still buy Coca Cola if Bin Laden was seen drinking it; our consumer-based economy would be destroyed.

There are people who are more deeply weird than I am

May 27th, 2008

Photograph of my Microwaved Mutant Gameboy Advance on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Yes, and it still works! The perfect travel companion for any occasion. 33% Beast, 42% Alien, 11% Radio active and 56% game machine making it 100% complete for endless hours of eyetone game play. This handy pure playable microwaved state of the fart device only needs a regular washing twice a day to avoid handheld appliance odor and a bad attitude.

Strangely enough, I enjoy such people, too.

Women have more choices?

May 26th, 2008

Having looked at this issue a lot myself, I think this study does get a bit closer to the heart of the matter. When I was getting into computer science, it ws a really interesting field because it did involve not only math and science but also a significant amount of social interaction as well. You simply couldn’t solve big problems by yourself — the computing power wasn’t really there and you had to interact with a lot of other people to solve problems. Now it’s a lot easier to simply build models or just use online resources and there doesn’t need to be as much social interaction.

I can see young women today who want that interaction going into other fields where there still is that social interplay. I often say if I were starting now, I would go into bio-engineering. Part of it for me would be doing the hottest latest thing, but a lot of it would be because it’s a field with lots of complex unsolved problems that require a lot of social interaction. I think women do want that along with the opportunity to use their math and science skills.

The freedom to say ‘no’ - The Boston Globe

Starting more than 30 years ago, the Study of Mathematically Precocious Youth began following nearly 2,000 mathematically gifted adolescents, boys and girls, tracking their education and careers in ensuing decades. (It has since been expanded to 5,000 participants, many from more recent graduating classes.) Both men and women in the study achieved advanced credentials in about the same numbers. But when it came to their career paths, there was a striking divergence.

Math-precocious men were much more likely to go into engineering or physical sciences than women. Math-precocious women, by contrast, were more likely to go into careers in medicine, biological sciences, humanities, and social sciences. Both sexes scored high on the math SAT, and the data showed the women weren’t discouraged from certain career paths.

The survey data showed a notable disparity on one point: That men, relative to women, prefer to work with inorganic materials; women, in general, prefer to work with organic or living things. This gender disparity was apparent very early in life, and it continued to hold steady over the course of the participants’ careers.

Benbow and Lubinski also found something else intriguing: Women who are mathematically gifted are more likely than men to have strong verbal abilities as well; men who excel in math, by contrast, don’t do nearly as well in verbal skills. As a result, the career choices for math-precocious women are wider than for their male counterparts. They can become scientists, but can succeed just as well as lawyers or teachers. With this range of choice, their data show, highly qualified women may opt out of certain technical or scientific jobs simply because they can.

These studies looked at different slices of the working world, but agree that in a world in which men and women both have freedom of choice, they tend to choose differently.

It’s the stupidity, stupid….

May 21st, 2008

Please just go watch. Arnie, if you’re listening, PAY ATTENTION!!!!!

Al Gore: We can change the conversation // Current
Al Gore: We can change the conversation

Sadness….

May 20th, 2008

I was only five when JFK was assassinated, but I remember my mom’s tears that day, and those television memories are among my earliest recollection of any political awareness. I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew it meant something. It created an awareness for me of the world of adults and how different it was from my world as a kid. When RFK was assassinated, I was ten so more aware, and I followed the news pretty closely then. But it still seemed like something the adults had to take care of, not me. It really wasn’t until I was a teenager that I increased my awareness, had a POW bracelet, and dreaded thinking my brother might have to go fight some stupid war we shouldn’t be in. I was really glad we weren’t more personally affected by it all. Watergate came along and just disgusted me, and turned me against party politics so much that when I did cast my first vote it was for John Anderson. I’ve been pretty disgusted with politics ever since, and registered Independent or Libertarian ever since, voting for whoever was making the most sense to me at the time. That’s varied all over the map, from Reagan to Clinton, as my own awareness has changed and as America has changed. But until Dubya was elected, I guess I still really felt like whatever I did as an individual, it didn’t really matter so much. I suppose most people feel that way. Since then I’ve been more politically active, often in ways I would never have expected, even becoming a poll worker for the elections.

It took me a long time to learn as an adult that we are all the adults, and what we do makes a difference, no matter how good or bad, how large or small. What we do as individuals is important for all of us. Edward Kennedy had to learn that lesson early in life, as did all the Kennedys, and their political dynasty has written itself deeply into the history of this country.

The Kennedy family has always been large in my lifetime. But indeed, they are only human, and whatever you might feel for Edward Kennedy, this is a sad day for their family, and will lead in a short time to the end of an era in American politics.

I can only hope some of the other political family dynasties will note that they, too, are after all only mortal. Whatever they might want for their own families, they need to consider what the rest of us want for our families too. Endless war will not provide us with those things we all want. Dependence on foreign oil will not provide those things, no matter how much it might enrich their political families and friends. Idealism about how great America is and how everyone ought to fear us and our military might does not provide those things.

What we need is stability, jobs, strong economic growth that benefits everyone, not just a few, and a future course we can all believe in and rely on together. Whatever else one might say about Edward Kennedy, and believe me if you want to say those things, they better be positive in my space right now so take your negativity elsewhere if you come across this post and are just wanting to get snarky here, he believes in the American people and has worked hard to make this country a far better place than it would otherwise be. I wish him and his family all the best. I hope his remaining time with us will be productive for him and for us all.

Sen. Edward Kennedy has malignant brain tumor - Yahoo! News

A cancerous brain tumor caused the seizure Sen. Edward M. Kennedy suffered over the weekend, doctors said Tuesday in a grim diagnosis for one of American politics’ most enduring figures.

Doctors for the Massachusetts Democrat say tests conducted after Kennedy suffered a seizure this weekend show a tumor in his left parietal lobe. Preliminary results from a biopsy of the brain identified the cause of the seizure as a malignant glioma.

His treatment will be decided after more tests but the usual course includes combinations of radiation and chemotherapy.

“I’m really sad,” former Sen. Bob Kerrey, D-Neb., said when told in a Senate hallway about Kennedy’s condition. “He’s the one politician who brings tears to my eyes when he speaks.”

The 76-year-old senator has been hospitalized in Boston since Saturday, when he was airlifted from Cape Cod after a seizure at his home.

“He has had no further seizures, remains in good overall condition, and is up and walking around the hospital,” said a joint statement issued by Dr. Lee Schwamm, vice chairman of the Department of Neurology at Massachusetts General Hospital and Dr. Larry Ronan, Kennedy’s primary care physician.

The doctors said Kennedy will remain in the hospital “for the next couple of days according to routine protocol.”

“He remains in good spirits and full of energy,” they said.

Kennedy’s wife and children have been with him each day but have made no public statements.

Malignant gliomas are a type of brain cancer diagnosed in about 9,000 Americans a year — and the most common type among adults. It’s a starting diagnosis: How well patients fare depends on what specific tumor type is determined by further testing.

Average survival can range from less than a year for very advanced and aggressive types — such as glioblastomas — or to about five years for different types that are slower growing.

Everybody’s Got a Happy Place!

May 20th, 2008

This made me happy yesterday. If you don’t recognize it, it’s a closed Small World Ride.

But really, it was this lovely group of ladies who made it a happy day at Disneyland. Many thanks to Rachel for our rooms, the lovely birthday girl Jamie for providing transportation and ride pass karma, “Charley” and Alex for reminding me how to be young and making it such a fun day, and Kate the for sunny disposition. You’re a great bunch of friends, and believe me I know how lucky I was to be included, which I very much appreciate. TTFN!

Small World

May 18th, 2008

Off to Disneyland with some girl friends for a road trip. Back sometime late tomorrow….

No, I will not go on that ride. Hate it.

My faves are the coasters, which I will happily ride any number of times. My favorite Disneyland trip, we took the boys the Wednesday after Thanksgiving, supposedly one of the least crowded days of the year, and rode Space Mountain six times straight through before there was a line. Awesome day….

Speaking of Nazi appeasers….

May 15th, 2008

I don’t think Dubya is in any position to compare anyone to Nazi appeasers.

How Bush’s grandfather helped Hitler’s rise to power | World news | The Guardian

George Bush’s grandfather, the late US senator Prescott Bush, was a director and shareholder of companies that profited from their involvement with the financial backers of Nazi Germany.

The Guardian has obtained confirmation from newly discovered files in the US National Archives that a firm of which Prescott Bush was a director was involved with the financial architects of Nazism.

His business dealings, which continued until his company’s assets were seized in 1942 under the Trading with the Enemy Act, has led more than 60 years later to a civil action for damages being brought in Germany against the Bush family by two former slave labourers at Auschwitz and to a hum of pre-election controversy.

The evidence has also prompted one former US Nazi war crimes prosecutor to argue that the late senator’s action should have been grounds for prosecution for giving aid and comfort to the enemy.

Everything is Waiting for You

May 14th, 2008

Everything is Waiting for You
by David Whyte

(After Derek Mahon)

Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone. As if life
were a progressive and cunning crime
with no witness to the tiny hidden
transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
out your solo voice. You must note
the way the soap dish enables you,
or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things
to come, the doors have always been there
to frighten you and invite you,
and the tiny speaker in the phone
is your dream-ladder to divinity.

Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into
the conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you.

Quick note on comments and postings

May 14th, 2008

I do moderate all commenters making a first-time comment, for spam and for politeness. After that, your comments should be posted automatically, and if not, you can send me a note to let me know so it doesn’t get caught in Akismet’s spam filter. I try to check through all spam comments to make sure, but don’t always catch them.

Sometimes I do delete comments or posts if they are too obnoxious or hostile. People referring to me or other commenters as “bimbo” or other derogatory terms will be banned. Occasionally I remove a post if the wingers have become particularly obnoxious. It’s sad that people can’t discuss things politely, but politeness was never the right-wing forte. For the record, I’m registered libertarian, so calling me a liberal derogatory something or other is likely to get someone banned, too (unless I think it’s funny). My regular commenters can, of course, say whatever they please, since I like them a lot. ;^)

Hey, it’s my place, and always my choices. I try to be interesting, sometimes provocative, sometimes spiritual or inspiring when I can, but mostly, to get people to think for themselves and not just blast me with something some idiot on the radio told them. You know what I mean….

Happy Birthday to Gertrude

May 14th, 2008

One of Darwin’s friends at the Casa where we do pet therapy turns 106 today. Here’s hoping she will have a wonderful birthday!

I’m pretty sure I’ll never make it to her age, but if I did, I would hope to be as bright and alert and lovely as she is. She had a lap full of birthday greetings yesterday when we visited and plans for a big party today.

7.9 quake in China

May 12th, 2008

Wow, a 7.9 quake under any city would be a disaster. Living in earthquake country, it’s one of our fears here. My heart goes out to China today….

Death toll in China earthquake rises to 7,600

A massive earthquake struck central China on Monday, killing more than 7,600 people and trapping nearly 900 students under the rubble of their school, state media reported.
The official Xinhua News Agency said 80 percent of the buildings had collapsed in Beichuan county in Sichuan province after the 7.8-magnitude quake, raising fears the overall death toll could increase sharply.

Question of the Day

May 11th, 2008

So –

Why do people pay $32 to go to a concert and then sit and drink and yack with their friends all through the entire concert??!!??

It’s really annoying to those of us who want to hear the concert we paid for, people.

Stay home to drink and yack with your friends.

I find myself wondering at times what the hell the point of anything is these days, when all our efforts seem to be overshadowed by the national sense of malaise accompanied by the idiocy of the people around us. The only folks who seem to be accomplishing anything are those who are so personally narcissistic that they can’t imagine anything else going on is important but their little piece of the world. The rest of us are too depressed by all the shit going down around us….

I mean I went to see Joe Jackson last night, and could barely enjoy it because so many people just would. not. shut. up. Ever. I can’t believe all these people think they are so important that they can’t shut their mouths for five minutes to listen to a song.

Mother’s Day

May 11th, 2008

Here is the original, pre-Hallmark, Mother’s Day Proclamation, penned in Boston by Julia Ward Howe in 1870:

Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise all women who have hearts,
Whether your baptism be that of water or of tears
Say firmly:
“We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands shall not come to us reeking of carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We women of one country
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.
From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says, “Disarm, Disarm!”
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice!
Blood does not wipe out dishonor
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war.
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God.
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality
May be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient
And at the earliest period consistent with its objects
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions.
The great and general interests of peace.

Roxie is at Peace

May 10th, 2008

My brave girl collapsed today and made her final trip to the vet.

She was ready to go and went very quickly, and beautifully. She is at peace…..

There are days we live
as if death were nowhere
in the background; from joy
to joy to joy, from wing to wing,
from blossom to blossom to
impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.
- Li-Young Lee
From Blossoms

This is not one of those days for me….

UPDATE:

The veterinarian’s office sent a very nice sympathy card, signed by all of the staff members.
It’s nice to know you have a vet that really cares about your pets….

Cat Scan

May 9th, 2008

Yup, had one today. Fun stuff.

So far in this year’s round of doctor’s visits all I’ve collected is an endometrial polyp. On the plus side, the opthalmologist’s visit today was good — my eye pressure is normal again now thanks to my ultra-expensive eye drops. Yay.

No more doctor days til next month’s physical.

Does that look evil or what?

May 8th, 2008

WHOA!!

Mega Vulcanicity: When Volcanoes Spew Lightning

Several days ago, a volcano that had been dormant for 9,000 years near the coast of Chile erupted spectacularly, hurling liquified metals and lightning many miles into the sky. The results, which you see here, are called a “dirty thunderstorm,” and are quite rare. Nobody is certain what causes them, but according to National Geographic it’s believed to be “the result of rock fragments, ash, and ice particles in the plume collid[ing] to produce static charges—just as ice particles collide to create charge in regular thunderstorms.”

Oh, Darwin would love this!

May 8th, 2008

So Cute!!!! Via Boing Boing….

RoadkillToys.com Designer Plush Toys - Twitch (Raccoon) Plush Toy

Our Squash-plush range looks like roadkill. Feels like roadkill. And tastes like roadkill. But they’re not. They’re plush toys. Very macabre plush toys. It’s the way we make them that makes them seem so real.

The blood and guts and gore are made using the latest high-tech stuffing and plush, to give it quite a realistic squidgy effect. The body and head and legs are made from specially sourced plush material, that gives them that tactile quality of mangy fur. The body is partly stuffed with beads, to give it extra dead weight. And unlike real roadkill it’s something you’ll want to take home and arrange on your bed.

We’ve tried to make Twitch and the rest of his Squash-plush chums as life-like as possible. But at the end of the day he’s only a stuffed toy. All the plush materials and stuffing we’ve used are made from 100% polyester fibres, and are fully compliant with British safety laws.

Twitch’s body is stuffed with a mixture of beads and stuffing. The beads give the Squash-plush teddy a bit of extra weight, so he can lie spreadeagled in his blood and gut-pool. The blood and guts and gore are made using the latest, cutting edge stuffing. It’s a special new micro-bead stuffing that gives the guts and organs a more malleable, tactile effect. It makes it more squidgy. More gross-out. You can disembowel Twitch by pulling the blood and innards through the zips that line both sides of the teddy carcass.