Category Archives: humor

BaconHenge

¡The AntiCraft!

Technically, a henge is actually an oval or circular earthwork, with a surrounding bank built up of the earth excavated from a ditch inside the bank. By this definition, Stonehenge is not truly a henge in any sense, as its ditch lies outside the bank.

There have been many theories as to the intended purpose of Stonehenge and other standing stones. The most likely seems to be, at least in part, that of seasonal calendar, as the sun aligns with particular stones at the solstices. This phenomenon, coupled with the mystery of the henges’ origins, has made the henges into sites of pagan ritual in recent centuries, if not throughout their histories. Some of those ancient rites are rumored to have included ritual sacrifice.

Let Baconhenge be the site of your seasonal celebration! Let bacon stand in for the sacrificed Year King, French toast for the Grain Goddess, the eggs in the frittata for the Cosmic Egg, and the vegetables for the bountiful Earth on which we live.

MMMMM, bacon!!

I'm not sure giving them time off is a good idea

They might just have decided it was a nice reward…

11 students suspended for banana prank – UPI.com

ZION, Ill., April 23 (UPI) — A Zion, Ill., high school has suspended 11 seniors involved in a prank that featured a student in a gorilla costume chasing banana-clad seniors in the hallways.

Zion-Benton Township High School handed seven-day suspensions to the costumed students, who phoned in sick before the stunt and wore pantyhose over their heads to conceal their identities during the prank, the Waukegan (Ill.) News-Sun reported Wednesday.

Some of the students said the school overreacted with the harsh punishment.

“What’s funnier than a gorilla chasing bananas through a school? Nothing,” said Andrew Leinonen, the prank’s mastermind and the student who dressed as a gorilla. “It was a harmless prank.”

However, others said they were just thankful the school decided not to bar them from prom and graduation.

“We think this is a just punishment,” said Brendon Epker, one of the students who dressed as bananas. “We broke rules we shouldn’t have broken.”

OMG! Fafblog is back! Woot!

One of my most favorite blogs EVHAR has returned!! Woot! Go enjoy….

Fafblog! back to save the universe.

It’s time for another edition of BARACK OBAMA: THE FINAL THROES! Last week Giblets revealed the dangerous levels of pussification inherent in Obama’s bowling skills and orange juice consumption while exploring the damage done by persistent rumors that the senator is secretly black. But this latest scandal has doomed the Obama campaign more than any dooming doom that has doomed it before, because this time Obama has Insulted America by saying that poor people in impoverished rural areas are somehow “bitter” about being poor and impoverished. For shame!

Well Giblets knows the real Americans of the heartland, Barack Obama. He has flown over them and driven past them and grimaced amiably in their direction on the way to hotel rooms on numerous occasions, and in that time he has come to appreciate their primitive yet unique culture. These salt-of-the-earth folk don’t need your condescending liberal elitism to tell them how they feel! They need Giblets’s condescending conservative elitism to tell them how they feel! These people aren’t “bitter.” Far from it! America’s impoverished working class are a chipper and cheerful lot, prancing and scampering about their foreclosed homes and crumbling industrial sectors with a spirit of adorable pluckiness, smiling and laughing through their unemployment and their black lung disease like a pack of hardscrabble leprechauns!1 And Giblets is sure they are outraged to hear Barack Obama imply otherwise – just as he is sure they are even outraged-er to hear Obama scorn their honest midwestern folkways, mocking the simple beauty of their long, proud tradition of recreational possum-killing and their homey, heartfelt gay-bashing! Well Giblets has a long if purely theoretical love of our nation’s yahoo population and their mysterious ways, and would be proud to join them himself were he not so busy wiping their hideous yokel-germs off him with copious quantities of hand sanitizer.

Not just a river in Egypt


From my good friend John Pierce:

So, Fed Reserve Board Chair Ben Bernanke calmly
reassures the Joint Congressional folks yesterday and
the Senate today that there’s only a weak possibility
we could suffer a recession here in a couple of
months, but we’re not in such now…

Uh-huh. Here’s an idea, Benny. Both you and Treasury
Secretary Henry Paulson get your lardy rumps laid off,
right frickin’ now, and instead of receiving any
severance you both have to find brand new jobs. Then,
we’ll see just how rosy your vision is, and how brave
you are. And maybe we could lay off our fabled Decider
and his Shotgun, too.

I’ve said it tiresomely. We’ve been in a recession
since at least JULY 2007. I’m living proof of this
economic slump.

Resilient economy my desperate for work ass!

Johnny

Best hopes for a new, wonderful job for you very, very soon, my friend…..

Oh please don't let my kids read this

As if they needed any more excuses for the state of their living quarters…

PureLandMountain.com

The neat room is a dangerous illusion, as history is de facto continuously pointing out to society at large via various financial, political, religious and activist groups of righteous room cleaners and organizers of the human race in general, but we in the developed world never seem to learn, because we insist on trying to get all our kids to clean all their rooms, thereby instilling in them the erroneous belief (as with most beliefs) not only that it should be done, but that it can be done. “A place for everything and everything in its place” is the most inimical and least natural thing I’ve ever heard, it is the seed of tyranny. Il Duce had that embroidered on his underwear. This is where it gets insidious, or is it invidious… My dictionary is around here somewhere… In this corner I think, at the bottom of that stack under the lantern… Used to be with my thesaurus, which because of this pile of hats I just moved to– hey this is interesting, I don’t think I’ve ever read this, didn’t know I had it, it’s in the neopile– discovery is a wonderful thing.

Shelves, for example, and drawers and their desks or whatever, impart the chronic and tragic misapprehension that our own thoughts, hence our creativity, are organized in such a way, when creativity clearly indicates otherwise (as evidenced by its loss through education). This has led for example to all the terrible poetry etc. we’ve had to endure down the ages, in amounts far exceeding the sublime bits that survive less and less each year, that came straight out of one wild room or another, created by the diminishing defenders of domestic wilderness.

Neatness interferes, whereas wilderness prevents senility, ever honing the mind to new sharpness. You think Einstein had a neat mind? DaVinci’s was a mess; Beethoven, forget it. Creativity is anarchic, unpredictable and cannot be summoned, as can the devil of neatness. No discovery in the room, no discovery in the resident. That’s a paraphrase of a Frost quote I’ve got in a book right about there, under the beeswax candles in one of those boxes in the corner, under the sweaters. Being one with the wilderness, like Tarzan or Geronimo, I know where all the vines, hideouts and escape routes are (there’s a river in that direction, there’s a butte over there, a canyon beyond etc.), which is quite enough to be getting on with. One only needs so much knowledge of where key things are; the rest is clutter.

My room has been purposely kept wild because at least some places on earth should be kept free of human interference, maintained as reverential venues where the primordial can still be experienced (such places are disappearing by the day). What greater insight can be gained in this modern world than by daily reminders of our primal origins, leading to fundamental understanding of what is truly possible? A room in its essence is our one clear chance at letting the world run free, insofar as this can be done in an enclosed space for which you’re paying rent, mortgage, maintenance, depreciation or whatever, paid for via time spent in a painfully neat office, so why waste what may be one’s only opportunity to experience the primordial on a regular basis?