Me at oh, two or so…
1a. What is one thing about your body that you hate, deny, talk trash about?
I live in my head. I think a lot of the time I end up denying that my body even exists. I tend to ignore it, not give it the exercise it needs, and feed it crap instead of good food. My body lets me down a lot, getting sick, not feeling good, etc, and I let it down in return. I need to focus on being more in touch with my body and giving it what it really needs, not just what I want at the moment. I wouldn’t say that I hate any part of my body or deny it or trash talk about it. It’s more just not giving it what it needs that is the problem.
I guess what I deny is what others probably think of me since I don’t get the manicures, pedicures, hairstyles, and other “girl” things I’m supposed to, or care about fashion or appearances. And it’s not even that I deny it – I just really don’t care what other people think about me anymore. I’ve gotten too far beyond that to even bother with it.
1b. What can you do to make friends with this part and show it a little love?
I’m currently reading “Coming Home to Your Body” by Carmen Renee Berry, and getting lots of ideas on how to be more in touch with my body and take better care of it, which is one of my goals for the year. I’m dealing with my health issues and getting more proactive about taking care of myself.
2a. What is one thing about your home that doesn’t feel good?
It’s full of smelly teenage and young adult boys. Well, only two of them, but it feels like too many.
2b. What is one thing you can do to change that?
Keep pushing them to go to school and get educated so they can grow up and get outta here. Until then, I just close their doors. And make them bathe and clean their rooms.
3a. Is there a relationship that you have difficulty with?
I have difficulty with most relationships. I’m not good about calling people or asking for help or for what I need in a relationship, and I’m not good about being there for other people all the time. My friendships tend to be casual and loosely connected right now.
3b. What is something small you can do to either salvage it or come to terms with the way it is now?
Most of my problem is I have come to terms with how I am, and am not at all unhappy about it. I’ve become very self-contained and independent, even more so than I’ve always been. I’m actually far more frustrated when I do need someone’s help, especially when I’m not getting it. I need to get better about making my needs known. And I need to be more open to being there for other people and mostly letting them know I AM available, but they have to ask.
4a. Is there something you are afraid to do, but would like to try it?
No. I’m not afraid of anything anymore, really. It’s mostly a matter of not wanting to do anything, or sometimes not knowing how I can do it right now….
4b. What can you do to begin a plan to try it?
Oh, I plan to do things. Like have my golden retriever ranch. I got my current puppy, Darwin, to train as a therapy dog, and eventually want to have a ranch with the space to rescue goldens and raise and train therapy dogs. But living in suburbia right now with no space to do the things I want to do is frustrating.