Changing Places

I always smile just before I slap someone up side the head, myself… in a nice, curving motion, of course…

Children and Youth – Play – Development – Science – New York Times

Social play has its own vocabulary. Dogs have a particular body posture called the ‘‘play bow’’ — forelegs extended, rump in the air — that they use as both invitation and punctuation. A dog will perform a play bow at the beginning of a bout, and he will crouch back into it if he accidentally nips too hard and wants to assure the other dog: ‘‘Don’t worry! Still playing!’’

Other species have play signals, too. Chimps put on a ‘‘play face,’’ an open-mouthed expression that is almost like a face of aggression except that the muscles are relaxed into something like a smile. Baboons bend over and peer between their legs as an invitation to play, beavers roll around, goats gambol in a characteristic ‘‘play gait.’’ In fact, most species have from 10 to 100 distinct play signals that they use to solicit play or to reassure one another during play-fighting that it’s still all just in fun. In humans, the analogue to the chimp’s play face is a child’s smile, an open expression that indicates there is no real anger involved even in gestures that can look like a fight.

The day Brown met me in the park was a cold one, and the kids were bundled up like Michelin Men, adding more than the usual heft and waddle to their frolicking. Even beneath the padding, though, Brown could detect some typical gestures that these 2- and 3-year-olds were using instinctively to let one another know they were playing. ‘‘Play movement is curvilinear,’’ he said. ‘‘If that boy was reaching for something in a nonplay situation, his body would be all straight lines. But using the body language of play, he curves and embraces.’’

…

For all its variety, however, there is something common to play in all its protean forms: variety itself. The essence of play is that the sequence of actions is fluid and scattered. In the words of Marc Bekoff, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Colorado, play is at its core ‘‘a behavioral kaleidoscope.’’

In fact, it’s this kaleidoscopic quality that led Bekoff and others to think of play as the best way for a young animal to gain a more diverse and responsive behavioral repertory. Thus, the currently fashionable flexibility hypothesis, a revival of an idea Bekoff first proposed in the 1970s. If a single function can be ascribed to every form of play, in every playful species, according to this way of thinking, it is that play contributes to the growth of more supple, more flexible brains.

‘‘I think of play as training for the unexpected,’’ Bekoff says. ‘‘Behavioral flexibility and variability is adaptive; in animals it’s really important to be able to change your behavior in a changing environment.’’ Play, he says, leads to mental suppleness and a broader behavioral vocabulary, which in turn helps the animal achieve success in the ways that matter: group dominance, mate selection, avoiding capture and finding food.

….

Why would such an enriching activity as play also be a source of so much anarchy and fear? Sutton- Smith found one possible answer by reading Stephen Jay Gould, the author and evolutionary biologist. The most highly adaptive organisms, Gould wrote, are those that embody both the positive and the negative, organisms that ‘‘possess an opposite set of attributes usually devalued in our culture: sloppiness, broad potential, quirkiness, unpredictability and, above all, massive redundancy.’’ Finely tuned specific adaptations can lead to blind alleys and extinction, he wrote; ‘‘the key is flexibility.’’

What Gould called quirkiness, Sutton-Smith called play. ‘‘Animal play has been described by many investigators as fragmentary, disorderly, unpredictable and exaggerated,’’ Sutton-Smith wrote, and ‘‘child play has been said to be improvised, vertiginous and nonsensical.’’ The adaptive advantage to a behavior that is multifaceted, then, is that pursuing it, enjoying it, needing it to get through the day, allows for a wider range in a play-loving person’s behavioral repertory, which is always handy, just in case.

Playing might serve a different evolutionary function too, he suggests: it helps us face our existential dread. The individual most likely to prevail is the one who believes in possibilities — an optimist, a creative thinker, a person who has a sense of power and control. Imaginative play, even when it involves mucking around in the phantasmagoria, creates such a person. ‘‘The adaptive advantage has often gone to those who ventured upon their possibility with cries of exultant commitment,’’ Sutton-Smith wrote. ‘‘What is adaptive about play, therefore, may be not only the skills that are a part of it but also the willful belief in acting out one’s own capacity for the future.’’

Darwin kills a rubber tennis ball

Interesting article on natural dog training and how to deal with an overly aggressive dog. I really liked his point that so much of our play is actually based on forms of hunting, and while some of us accept this with dogs, we sometimes fail to see it in ourselves.

I think much of the aggression in humans can be similarly channeled, if we re-direct people’s aggressions into more acceptable forms of play. Perhaps this is why sports are so important to us as a society…

Roxie is my only aggressive golden, way more so than most goldens I’ve seen. I’m sure she was improperly socialized, just as she was improperly fed (30 pounds overweight when I got her) and trained (she would counter surf and eat things left on the counters). But she is never aggressive while walking with us, or even in interaction with most dogs. For her it is mostly territorial. She will bark at the neighbor’s aggressive female, Rosie, through the fence, but if they are together out front where she can see Rosie, at most she will growl a little. I guess the best thing would be to get them in a situation where they could really play together.

Natural Dog Training

The name of the game, is game. Once the dogs sense who, or what, the prey is, then there can be a game and at such a point, then there is no chance for violence {I think he means between the dogs, of course there could be violence against the “prey” – DW}. Games, the essence of a social nature, have indeed evolved from prey-making which is why most games involve a ball, the ball being the surrogate for a prey animal. Once every individual is in accord on what or who the prey is, they fall into phase and the game can begin. What our language clearly reveals through a multitude of expressions and word derivations is that hunting is the basis of a social nature. This is one of the most important things we can learn from dogs about our own human nature.

When my kids were little, I was enamored of the comic strip “Baby Blues“, convinced they must be watching us, or at least living very similar lives. I even had to get a signed copy of their first book, I liked them so much. I haven’t had a chance to get a signed copy of any of the Get Fuzzy books, although I do have several of the comic collections. But this one made me feel like they’re watching us again, or at least, watching Darwin. This is definitely how he thinks!

We are home from Tucson and Phoenix — family are all fine, and saw several friends.

The kids took great care of the pets and the house.

Darwin ate our bedroom fan remote…..

Hope Santa leaves you everything you wanted!

Karen has a great post today on how to help out your local animal rescue group or shelter. Karen lists 101 suggestions – I ‘ll just get you started here and you can read the rest of the post at her place…

Author Mom with Dogs

Having found two wonderful dogs through rescue, and having acquired several dear human friends in the process, I’ve become very familiar with not only how hard these people work, but what they accomplish with so little. So, especially, during this time of year, I try to do what I can to pitch in. It doesn’t take much to make a difference. Here are a list of ideas to help inspire you. (Your local shelter can use many of the same items.)

Can you…

1. Transport a dog?
2. Donate a dog bed or towels or other *bedding* type items?
3. Donate MONEY?
4. Donate a Kong? A Nylabone? A hercules?
5. Donate a crate?
6. Donate an x-pen or baby gates?
7. Donate a food dish or a stainless bucket for a crate?
8. Donate a leash?
9. Donate a collar?
10 .Donate some treats or a bag of food?

…

Love, Darwin and Donna

Thanks for reading!

Oh, and we got you some rabbits from Heifer.org!

UPDATE:

Darwin and I did our therapy work this morning and everyone thought hw was so cute in his hat! He’s really starting to enjoy his work and is not at all nervous about it anymore. And I have to say Darwin is certainly the best therapy I’ve had all year!

Darwin helps put together the new patio heater. He’s opening the box….

Darwin relaxes on the new patio

“As long as I kept focused on my main goal, which is to help others and to be able to share what little knowledge I have, I felt relaxed.” –Phagyab Rinpoche.

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” — Sydney J. Harris

“Softly and kindly remind yourself, ”I cannot own anything.” It is a valuable thought to keep in mind as you struggle to improve your financial picture, worry about investments, and plan how to acquire more and more. It is a universal principle which you are part of. You must release everything when you truly awaken. Are you letting your life go by in frustration and worry over not having enough? If so, relax and remember that you only get what you have for a short period of time. When you awaken you will see the folly of being attached to anything.” — Wayne Dyer

“Relaxation means releasing all concern and tension and letting the natural order of life flow through one’s being” — Donald Curtis

Relax with your loved ones and enjoy a great Thanksgiving!!

Darwin and I were doing therapy work today at Gateway. Tomorrow we’re back at the Learning Center in Escondido. We made a few people happy today, so I guess it was a good day…

One older gentleman in particular kept wanting to see Darwin doing his “tricks” — shaking hands, etc. But I don’t really teach Darwin many tricks – my idea of therapy is more that he is there with people and available to and responsive to them, not that he does a lot of tricks to entertain them. He is well-behaved and is under control, but not “controlled” by me. I guess this piece sort of explains some of what I feel….

Author Mom with Dogs » Blog Archive » Control vs Self-Control

You’d like what Mother Teresa said to a reporter once! She was asked, how can we solve the problem of world hunger? Her reply, without missing a beat was, “Feed one hungry person.” That was her wisdom, the secret energy of toiling in the mess with personal commitment, practical personal acts, and the influence of personal example.

Back then to the world in which we live, where the first thing that so many children say as they walk up to me with one of my dogs is, “Can you make that dog sit?!” Spend a moment on what that sentence carries in it, what it implies about the human stance–from very early on… I can at that moment make a difference, not only by the REQUEST of a sit (as someone said in another discussion), as opposed to a demand, but I can also teach the child a different way of being with a dog.

There are many, many moments in our days when we can do the equivalent of feeding one hungry person to address the shame of inflicting ‘power over’ on the dogs who inhabit our lives–at home, in town, in class, at the ring…. Methinks that we HAVE TO do it. That’s why I’m hoping we who talk about this with one another will also speak up and out–not with a lot of brassy noise-making, but with a steady personal voice, and the personal acts that give that voice credibility and set an example in the world around us.

Now, if healthy control is properly a *balance* concept, then our example is needed to articulate not only when control turns to shameful power over, but also when it slides to shameful extremes represented by a lack of healthy control–that is, by neglect, indifference, discarding of dogs… and also insane indulgence that overburdens dogs with excessive emotion, goodies, and stimulation.

Railing at people isn’t going to do it. But, we can make a difference with the courage to look at ourselves and to speak by example, to not step away from looking into the eyes of those whom we find oppressed, but also looking into the eyes of those who wield the power that oppresses them. Feeding that one hungry person is the beginning. Don’t do it under a bushel, is what I’d add.

For me, I am realizing that the bigger challenge is often not that of speaking the truth or living it with the dog right in front of me, but to live and speak the truth without strangling the livin’ shit out of the human in front of me who is ‘controlling’ a dog and to whom I want to get the message. And that brings me back to the incredible difficulty of the power struggle within–and to the recognition that if I want to influence the person who is heaping power over a dog, I cannot do it by heaping my power over the person. Believe it, that’s a challenge. I keep trying to learn from Mother Teresa how to do that… stand in the truth and share it. She didn’t say, “… to solve the problem of world hunger, you slug the sob who hogged the rice bag…”

I have a lot of days where I feel like slugging the person hogging the rice bag, myself….

And yes, Darwin did “shake hands”, and we were nice about it, but I hope most of the group was able to simply enjoy Darwin for who he is, as I do.

The cuteness abounds today.

After the stress of the last week, it’s nice to just relax for a bit.

With the Wubba nearly completely destroyed, Darwin begins disemboweling his next victim.

It took Darwin a couple of weeks, but the Wubba destruction is nearly complete!

We have two basic choices when trying to resolve any conflict within a relationship: persuasion or coercion. Persuasion is possible only where freedom exists. If I am willing to accept whatever choice you may make, I am able to use persuasion and nothing more in my attempt to get you to do what I’d like you to do. Persuasion contains no elements of cruelty — by its very nature, persuasion contains the freedoms of both involved, and within that freedom lies profound respect even if disagreement exists. If the dog is truly free to say “No, thanks” and we are truly willing to accept that answer, then we are engaged in persuasion.

But persuasion has limits, and especially within the context of our role as guardians and caretakers, persuasion may fail. In some situations, compulsion or coercion may be justified, especially if the consequences of a failure to respond or act in a certain way can be dangerous or even deadly. Few of us would choose persuasion to deal with a child about to stick a fork in an electrical outlet or walk into traffic; most of us would simply forcefully compel the child to stop.

There are times when the simple obligations of being a dog’s keeper and guardian brings us into conflict with the dog’s impulses, needs, desires and even his instincts. How we will handle the inveitable conflict between us and the dog, how we will use coercion, is the question. And this is where we tread on treacherous ground. Cruelty does not rear its ugly head in moments of agreement; only where conflict exists can cruelty germinate. A friend of mine once noted that anger was not possible without a goal. No goal, no possibility of anger. I thought about this a long time and realized that no matter how modest or unimportant the goal, the moment I have something I want, an outcome I desire more than other possible outcomes, there arises the possibility for anger, and farther along that spectrum, the possibility of cruelty if I am willing to pursue my goal at any cost, even at the expense of another living being. We may not take the achievement of a goal to Mahiavellian extremes. But simply shaping a goal and focusing on it has the additional effect of narrowing our perspective; aimed at our goal, we may forget the dog beside us. — Suzanne Clothier, “Bones Would Rain From the Sky”

Dynamic quality is unpredicatable, and impossible to replicate. Quite possibly, it is the uniqueness of dynamic quality that makes it so intense or meaningful for us. Moments of dynamic quality occur seemingly at random: a spectacular sunset, a red fox walking out from the woods to stand gazing into your eyes, the fairyland of a tree freshly dusted in snow, the sudden arc of a meteor across the sky. These may be dramatic moments, but there are others less dramatic but equally powerful: the sound of a child singing softly to herself, the silky feel of a dog’s ear sliding between your fingers, the warm pressure of a body curled lovingly around your own, the sweet smell of rain in the spring.

Moments of dynamic quality, moments with the potential to move our very souls, are all around us. Though unpredictable, they require only one thing from us in order to experience them: We must be available. Because it resides in your response, dynamic quality is everywhere you are, if you are open to the experience, willing to seek it out, interested and alert to what is happening within and beyond yourself. Sweepstakes promoters have it all wrong: In life, you must be present to win. If we are glued to the nightly news, we will not see the sunset.

Suzanne Clothier, Bones Would Rain From the Sky

To know someone here or there with whom you can feel there is understanding in spite of distances or thoughts unexpressed — that can make of this earth a garden. — Goethe

You know how I am about process and quality and connection and dog training – this lovely passage from Suzanne Clothier’s “Bones Would Rain from the Sky” has it all. I’m really enjoying this book.

When we enter into a relationship with a dog or any other being, we are seeking a connection or, perhaps more accurately, what we feel as a result of this connection: comfort, love, acceptance, peace, joy. What we are seeking and striving for is a quality of connection that is — hopefully — a mutually pleasurable state, a dance of two spirits moving in agreement. Though we may be unable to articulate precisely what we seek, we recognize it when it happens. Simply stated, it feels good when it is right, and it does not feel good when things are wrong. And when it is right, it’s delightfully, incredibly, inexpressibly right. And when it is wrong, it can be terribly, unbearably wrong. What drives us crazy at times is that even when the connection is powerful and good, we may not know just how that moment was achieved or what magical ingredients helped to create it or, sadly, why it just as mysteriously dissolves into the mundane or routine.

Because this kind of profound connection is elusive (whether we seek it with other people or with animals), we may not understand that it is not a goal or a “thing” but rather a process, and a dynamic one at that. Despite the messages from advertisers that assure us that with their product (their car, soap, beer, dog food, jeans) we will be able to have the fulfilling relationships we seek, the truth is there is no particular formula by which a powerful connection may be summoned or created. In our restless searching through books and videos and seminars, we are asking for the recipe that can help us create what we know exists. Such a relationship between us and our animals is possible, though not necessarily easy, certainly not automatic. We’ve tasted it, or we’ve seen it or perhaps we even just read about it — and we want more. We want a road map to There, because we’ve been there or we know others who have, and we know it’s where we want to go.

None of us deliberately sets out to create a relationship filled with conflict, frustration or disappointment. But the deep connection we seek may be missing, especially if we mistake the technicalities of dog behavior training theories and techniques for a relationship. To find what we are seeking, we need to begin at the beginning, examining the foundation on which the entire relationship will turn: the quality of the connection itself.

Each time we interact with a dog or another being, we have an opportunity to create an event of quality, or not. Our relationships with our dogs are dynamic, responsive to and informed by every choice we make. Each of our actions, whether intentional or inadvertent, will move us in only a few possible directions — away from or toward greater intensity of connection, or we do not move at all and remain still.

If quality is indeed an event, then in every moment, we have a choice. Relationships are not mechanical processes…. Our world is not one of simple cause and effect, but one of dynamic interactions, right down to the cells within our bodies. .. A relationship is also — at its core — a seamless integration of information. By the very act of choosing to be in a relationship — even casually — with another being, we open ourselves to the dynamic process of both putting forth and receiving information.

To fully embrace the idea that quality is a dynamic event that we can choose to create is both a heavy burden of responsibility and one of the greatest of all freedoms… The event of quality is one that we can actively choose, every day, each time we are with our dogs.

The idea of choosing in every moment what you will create in that moment is absolutely central to Tao. It is what people mean when they talk about being “in the moment” – not just living moment to moment, but actively understanding what it is you are creating moment to moment, and accepting responsibility for that. I think it is what a lot of people do not understand about me — I’ve always accepted the responsibility for my actions, and known what i was creating — even in those times when I was “crazy” and “out of control”.

I have always been well aware of the quality of the connections in my life. A good friend called me this morning and thanked me for that, for which I will be eternally grateful. I do not think I had realized until today that the depths of how much I care for other people and value them is not a character flaw, but probably the deepest part of my character itself. One friend would chide me in the past for being “too intense”. But I think that only meant he was afraid of having intense experiences in his own life. Another friend stepped away because they didn’t feel the intensity of the relationship that I did — or so he claimed. Yet, looking back, I know very well that the intensity was there on both sides. Yet another friend stepped away because they didn’t like my intensity – and yet gossiped about me to all her other friends. I suspect she was actually jealous of my own ability to create a relationship worth gossiping about.

And those friends who have stuck with me, through everything, and especially my wonderful husband – those are the ones I love most of all. People like that will be the ones who can get me through anything.

And the ones who read here, who have even that much interest in my life to casually check and see what I’m doing or what I have to say — you are the special ones, the ones that indeed, make my world a garden.

Thank you.

(I mostly just posted this because I love this devil golden!)

Canine Smarts: Behavioral Science Turns to Dogs for Answers – International – SPIEGEL ONLINE – News

For serious scientists, Lassie and her friends were deemed little more than dumbed-down ancestors of the wolf, degenerated into panting morons by millennia of breeding. But a younger generation of researchers has set out to restore the reputations of our beloved pets. “Dogs can do things that we long believed only humans had mastered,” says Juliane Kaminski of the Max Planck Institute (MPI) for Evolutionary Anthropology in the eastern German city of Leipzig.

It is precisely their proximity to people — which disqualified our four-legged friends as a model for so long — that now makes them interesting to animal researchers. “When it comes to understanding human behavior, no mammal comes even close to the dog,” says Kaminski. Her Leipzig research team has demonstrated that dogs are far better than the supposedly clever apes at interpreting human gestures.

Darwin and I had a playdate with Deb and Pentu today – it was a blast!

Darwin went to Gateway Gardens retirement living today along with Ina and her lab Sunny, and a bearded dragon named Bond, James Bond! We had a wonderful time and made many new friends. Darwin’s story from last week’s visit is also up now at Land of Pure Gold, where I also picked up the cute picture above of Toby. Careful if you click those links – you can get lost for a long time over at Rochelle’s wonderful golden retriever site! Along with the stories there is a wealth of information there about goldens, therapy and service dogs, and sadly, cancer, which is so common in goldens. Rochelle has done a great job collecting so much information!