Norma Penchansky-Glasser, Pivotal Space
Some days, you and I go mad.
Our bellies get stuffed full,
Hearts break, minds snap.
We can’t go on the old way so
We change. Our lives pivot,
Forming a mysterious geometry.
Life revolves. You cannot go back one minute, or one day. In light of this, there is no use marking time in any one position. Life will continue without you, will pass you by, leaving you hopelessly out of step with events. That’s why you must engage life and maintain your pace.
Don’t look back, and don’t step back. Each time you make a decision, move forward. If your last step gained you certain amount of territory, then make sure that your next step will capitalize on it. Don’t relinquish your position until you are sure that you have something equal or better in your grasp. But how do we develop timing for this process?
It has to be intuitive. On certain days, we come to our limits, and our tolerance for a situation ends. When that happens, change without the interference of concepts, guilt, timidity, or hesitancy. Those are the points when our entire lives pivot and turn toward new phases, and it is right that we take advantage of them. We mark our progress not by the distance covered but by the lines and angles that are formed.
“We mark our progress not by the distance covered but by the lines and angles that are formed.”
I really like that line. Sometimes people seem so focused on moving straight ahead, and don’t even realize they are actually sliding sideways, or that they’ve run into a wall and can’t possibly move forward any longer the way they are going. Or our lives take what seems to be a sideways turn, that ends up leading us in the right direction. Or we might realize that we need to turn a corner before we can start moving in the right direction again. How can you even move through the day without changing the direction you are walking? So why do we think life always moves forward in a straight line?
I try to get to yoga at least once a week (not very succesful at this lately, unfortunately…) and the great thing about yoga is moving your body through so many different positions and angles. If you can do a little more in the pose every week, you’re making progress. You might not always be in perfect form, but that’s ok too. I try to incorporate at least a bit of yoga into every day – a forward bend here, a spinal twist there, or going through a few sun salutions for a five minute workout. We need to move through different positions throughout the day, not stay in the same fixed position all day.
And so it is with our lives. We need to keep moving, and changing, and growing. If we become stagnant, too full, or try too hard to cling to something or someone that doesn’t want to be part of our lives anymore, we will go mad, or become unhappy, or snap. Yeah, been there, done that, too. And things changed. And now, I’m happy, fulfilled, and no longer searching for anything outside of myself to make my life better. I am becoming the woman I’ve wanted, and each day, I can look at that poem, which is posted in my bathroom, and smile, because I am more that person every day.
4 Responses
I would like to believe that I am the woman I wanted to be, but at my advanced age I know I am not and I wonder if I have enough years left to achieve that end. I do know that I am over half way there and have the consolation that I have improved through the years.
Holding on to old expectations of yourself is always a tough thing to deal with. Releasing the belief that you need to be anything other than who you are, or do anything other than what you are doing, is very difficult. Our society carries with it a lot of expectations and negativity. I tend to turn off the news, back away from anyone who is being negative towards me and retreat into myself and nature when I feel those expectations and negative attitudes coming on. It really helps. Trees and flowers are so beautiful, and not through trying to meet anyone’s expectations of them — they simply are….
Wise words indeed. It is hard not to think of the past and to see what might have been, but it does no good. There is nothing that can be changed. Learning lessons from past experience though often brings wisdom.
I too love Yoga (because of my age it is now Chair Yoga) and your post has given it new meaning. Thank you.
No, I think what can be changed is the attitudes about the past. You can’t change the events that happened, but you can understand them better and change how you feel about them.
It was interesting that people couldn’t understand that I had no regrets or remorse over what had happened at the time. That was because I understood very clearly what could happen, and I was prepared to accept those consequences. What I hadn’t counted on was the reaction of others who weren’t even involved in the situation, how afraid they were of any challenges to the social norms and their view of them. I didn’t get that others could feel so strongly about the actions of other people that they would refuse to even speak to me any longer given the situation. But now I understand those feelings and attitudes very well. I had to accept that their shunning had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with what they felt inside, with how what I did made them feel about themselves and the fears that were created. If I could do what I did and feel no shame, what did that make them capable of? So, they walk away, rather than deal with their own actual morality…
So understanding that, I became free to know that I wasn’t really guilty of anything other than violating their social mores, and not my own, and get over my regrets over the loss of friendship, realizing I didn’t need such judgmental people in my life. If those involved in the situation could forgive me and be civil about it, there was no reason fro anyone else to be upset, and turn away from me. It was just their own fear.
On yoga, I actually once came up with an entire series of chair yoga and even bedridden yoga, and have adjusted my own yoga moves as I get older. It’s really fun to be in a class of kids and be able to keep up, but when I hit my wall and just stop and watch, that’s fun too. My teacher once remarked that it was actually a superior form of yoga, simply to be accepting of one’s own limits and know them well enough to avoid injuries. ;^)